It’s the wheel
that steers out and back again,
the mighty wind
twisting about around an eye
Like blind spots
bleached out in spin cycle,
bright dots
sparkle about under night sky
As fingers
throughout a twirling strand,
sharp edges
polished out of echoing cry
A ballerina
turned about a moment
Full stop.
dragged out... into circle,
coming
"full circle" towards start
28-07-07
A contest entry
- For Poets With 10 Or Less Trophys Only- PIF by Mercury Rising.
550 points, ended September 25, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
'.'
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Your poem has been read. Sorry for taking forever judging; I've had a hectic week. -
Very neat write I like the metaphor in it. Beautiful lines in this piece Great imagery as well keep up the great writes Auntie
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"sharp edges
polished out of echoing cry
A ballerina
turned about a moment"
Truly beautiful lines in this..twirling has a typo
This is wonderful imagery...a 'pirouette of life' this is..love this one
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Thank u & also for catching that! *blushes a bit and rushes to fix*
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LOL....you will get used to me, I never hardly put corrections on comments....but i message people them if I see anything and I know they take feedback well..like you
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^^ thank you Ted... glad you enjoyed it! tc~
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Love the imagery and lines that provide thought. The title is even magical (and even inspiring as I can envision writing myself about "Circling Stars"). Congratulations on the Honorable Mention!
Ted E
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Beautiful
So, I love this poem! It has a very nice way of dragging my eyes along line by line, whats the word I'm looking for...Momentum, thats it. I loved the momentum of this write. And upon getting to the end to realize there is no end. The imagery was outstanding and I had a blast reading this!
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Just an excellent poem with some very original images throughtout. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.
David
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Thank u David for the shiny HM this is one of my all time favs (coz i can come back to it again and again any time and find some peace in remembering how it felt when I wrote this)
I also thought it (the poem) might feel a bit bad without at least a trophy to adorn it when some other less deserving ones of mine do have theirs... yeah, so now it (the poem ;P) can finally stand tall and proud... lol
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Wonderful
Great imagery, nice flow and it really takes you there. Great write. Good luck on the contest.
Hugz
Himler
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Loved this
Felt the imagery come to life
A wonderful write
J
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This is a very nice poem. The simple form of couplets allows some very good poems to be written and this is a very good poem it lightened my heart as I went along
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Very enjoyable!
This is very different too, but I very much enjoyed it! I wish you good luck in the contest as well!
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Cyclic, ever changing, but always rearranging into already formated variances. Hurricanes? Maybe seen through peripheric stance? White hot dots, bleach spots, tater tots? Twinkling on the outside, steam fried in the middle.
I like how it all comes "full circle". Very nice write.
~Pedr~ -
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Muchas gracias "Amor"! Si, Hurricanes + Tornados from a peripheric stance is what i was thinking... in fact, you could be inside it and still cool... like at the center (the eye) no?
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This is great! I love the imagery and
feel of this one. This background really
compliments your poem. Well done!
Jeremy0826 -
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n thanx there again!
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good stuff
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^^thank u
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Great read.
I love this poem very much. Thank you for your incite.
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Thank u Lynn... long time no c! hope all's well~
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Amazing imagery!
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Thnx thnx... :] <- stealing ur smiley siggy again~
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well first of all id like to thank you for your comments on my poems, its nice top see someone take the time out to comment on them.
this poem i thought was very interesting, it kept me wanting more when it finished... well done!!
ben x
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Welcomed Ben! Thanx a lot 4 urs too~
btw, u can go back to the start and read it over again... that's what I intended ^^
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And it's exactly where I am now...
Thanx 4 dropping by^^ -
Very majestic. This puts me in a place i wouldn't mind being.
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