Take this mask that I wear
Remove the pain within
Speak soft words
Whisper if you will
Take this bottle from my hands
Remove the pain within
Let me drink my past
and sleep with the dead
Take this dagger in my chest
Remove the pain within
Let it cut the hate and anger
that bears both sides
Take this rose from my garden
Remove the pain within
let the thorns be removed
and the petals made into ink.
Author notes
~*~
A contest entry
- The Other You... by x-0-5hr0ud3d-0-x.
600 points, ended August 16, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - . by Aurora Ceres.
700 points, ended November 1, 2007, 75 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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a very good poem. thank you so much for sharing & best of luck in my contest.
--Blessed be--
Shacadia sha -
this is cool
wow i like it
kind of speaks in pain and its well well written
keep up with the work
love
your friend
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love
Thank you!! I appreciate your imput.
Joe -
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your welcome just keep adding peoms here
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Excellent read & write
Beautifully penned, nice flow and some very vivid repetition that balances the read perfectly. I love the metaphors in each verse. Thanks foe sharing this part of your imagery.........novy
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This piece is intense! It is full of emotion, has a subtle bit of personification, and is full of detail that led to some imagery. Your metaphors were phenomenal and I would have to say that this is probably one of my favorites that you have written!
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Shakari
Thanks for the nice comment. I really appreciate it.
Joe
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Joe...I have to say, this is probably one
of your best. Everything is perfect - the
flow, the imagery, the feelings drawn and
then given to the reader. I commend you
on a piece wonderfully mastered.
Love, Lane
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Thanks Miss Lane.
I appreciate your support of my words.
Joe
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