'I love you' she softly whispered
'I dont care anymore' said he
Her love turned and walked away
How could this possibly be
Broken bones can mend
But not a broken heart
It'll never be the same
Once it's been torn apart
And as she slowly walked home
She knew what she was going to do
Something especially for him
To prove that her love was true
Home she went and found a gun
Playfully put it to her head
IT'S ALL FOR YOU! she shrilly screamed
Pulled the trigger, and then she was dead
And only a note to explaine
While she be in hell or Heavon above
The only thing left behing
the words 'for you my love'
Author notes
Mommas Fallen Angel
'Emotion~Overrated~Underappreciated~Overwhelming'
A contest entry
- QUIKKI!!! Com3 GET IT!!! by XXDarkness-DecayXX.
350 points, ended July 28, 2007, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Entertain Me by EmeraldDaze.
600 points, ended November 6, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emo(tionally) SKREW'D by as.phy.xi.ate..
900 points, ended December 25, 2007, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Wow...a small lack of gramma but it sort of makes it go a little better, more desperate.
Good luck in the contest.
Claire-Anne -
Ouch it hurts, I like the words in this peice and how is it true, it never mends, only hurts.
My FAVORITE verse or part~
'I love you' she softly whispered
'I dont care anymore' said he
Her love turned and walked away
How could this possibly be
The dialogue is strong and you can hear it when you read!
And yeah you should just fix Heaven and behind/being in the second from last line, not sure which word got jacked lol but point made either way!
I liked this alot! Good Luck in my contest!
~Katie AKA Lyrikz~ -
Did you read my rules? I clearly state in rule 2 that I don't want to read about killing(self or others). By the way, you misspelled Heaven, and behind(lines 18 and 19
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Beautifully sad. best of luck in the contest...Scott
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This is really good, best luck in the compitetion..
xoxo slash -
CHILLS!!! Lots of chills, you should be very proud! This is great Megan, best of luck in the contest! I really loved this, so deep and sad, but well written with a great flow. Your poetry thrills and inspires me!!!
Kelcey
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Well, Your prompt is....Dead beauty...aka lost love...anything goes with lost love...Good luck
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