Manufactured statues,
stains on a hotel mattress,
arthouse movies on HBO,
seemingly pointless mortal toil.
When we flatten out we can sell our souls;
Until then we will conserve our oil.
Portraying mirrors that betray the world,
salesmen will mirror our own slurs.
A social and practical commercial epiphany:
Everyone is real, more real then you can see
and they see you while you seem free;
Everyone wants the same damn thing.
Author notes
No.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I gotta admit I had to read it a couple of times and I will probably read it a couple times more before finishing this comment. A few things that I picked up on from the poem was how we seem to distort the reality of things brought on by the greed of people as well as the superficial/commercial way of looking at things.
The first stanza made me think of how we have commercialized and developed things that used to have a sort of unique value to them. I think of how we have molded people to thinking how certain things apply to certain people and one can only think a certain way if they look a certain way losing our "homemade" quality. (If that makes sense to you.)
The second stanza makes me think of how we don't give up anything and will take what we can in regards to what will be the most beneficial. Another thing that comes to mind from the first and second line on the second stanza is how corporate/government is twisting the profit/cost margin at the cost of many by using the things that are required by the majority to get by in the world but will with hold what is necessary if it doesn't go along with the schedule. The last two lines make me think of how we have different organizations that distorted the reality by making the "everythings ok" the only message that is being sent to the rest of us. If we have too many "yes men" the same course of action will always be taken in a rather fast moving downward spiral.
The last stanza I think I have read over and over the most. I had a few different thoughts on it. One being how everyone seems to be stuck in the same sort of limbo, moving with the crowd unable to get past the majority but the basic needs that we are looking for ar the same. However, there are more to us than meets the eye but from how things are with the way the world is we keep quiet about the differences we have and show a false sort of confidence to portray a sort of strength in our own social structure.
These are just a couple of thoughts that came to mind, not sure if they were what you were intending when you wrote the poem
I really enjoyed it!
Maggie 
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I am american ... we dont conserve our oil
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i would like to assure you the ladies that have commented afore me are not just saying this is a great write because you're male and your 17. i assure you. this is a great poem. it's not even a poem. it's performance art.
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nice work
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I like how you kind og write it out as mankind but it seems deeper, not sure if it is, but it seems that way. Another great one, you are really... and I never lie cuase there is no point to do so in this case, you are an amazing writer, I have not seen better, I really havn't and that is saying a lot cuase I study literature.
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interesting
i like your portrayal of mankind , peanuts and monkeys lol, freedom is an illusion......
well done.........thankyou for sharing...........
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Innovative definitely describes this piece, what a phenomenal write. I think you are the inspiration I have been searching for.
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This is haunting me. It echoes truths that are not apparent to all. I commend you for using your brain!!!! I also commend you for bringing art back into poetry. Few poets are as innovative as yourself.~Leah
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<3....?
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