As the sky lights up
With her shininess.
It beckons for me...
To come play and see them.
To watch as the moon crosses on Her Chariot.
And Her children following her across the heavens.
To actually hear Her,
for my ears to be opened...
Is something amazing,
only a few can hear Her calls.
To be a child of the Goddess, Diana,
Is something special all in itself.
So, I sit and i gaze.
Up and try to listen...
To Her tales and lure.
To bare in mind of the glimmers of Her children.
For some day soon,
I will be there.
To follow that navy Chariot gliding across the heavens,
To be a child that of the Moon.
A contest entry
- Fantasy: Take me to another world. by Enmity-xX.
700 points, ended August 3, 2007, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sacred Chants & Hymns Of Praise by Mercury Rising.
1000 points, ended August 17, 2007, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Calling all witches... by volcaniclastic.
500 points, ended February 20, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Good write, and good read.
CONS:
-"With her shininess." ...her shininess?! Oh please use a different word.
-"To watch as the moon crosses on Her Chariot.
And Her children following her across the heavens."
...might sound better as
'To watch as the moon crosses on Her Chariot,
Her children following across the heavens.'
-some punctuation mistakes (go back and capitalize your I's)
PROS:
-nice couplets
-I love the story
-Diana is a gorgeous Goddess
-"To follow that navy Chariot gliding across the heavens,
To be a child that of the Moon."
...I love the last two lines.
Thank you for entering, and good luck!
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Both an emotional and spiritual hymn of praise that was a real joy to read. Thanks so much for sharing this lovely piece, and best of luck in my contest.
David
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I love mythology. This is a beautiful write.
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Charming poem of the Goddess.
Beautiful!
Blessed be* -
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blessed be to you as well. thanks for taking the time to read it.
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Ah, the world as a vibrant living force. The energy personified in the symbols of god hood. Deep down in our being we heed the call and know that we hear more than myth, are greater than archtype. We are connected to an awareness that makes life a vibrant totality.
Love Tom B.
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i have always felt a connection to the Mother true. and i am greatful that i have heeded Her call, unlike other that i know. thanks for taking the time to read this piece.
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this is a great write for the Goddess, Blessed Be.
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i really liked it
this poem is amazing.you had me hooked the whole time.the way you show your emotion into it just makes this poem even better.very ood write.
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