Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

claustrophobia

                                                                   freedom        lost

                                                                   fire flies caught

                                                                      

                                                                               in

                                    

                                                                          glass jar

                                                           

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Pete Greenslade gold member
    August 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    you found the spirit if haiku..i'm not up with it all,,,you are such a gifted writer 'R'..hugs


  • heygoo
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Simple and elegant. Conjures childish memories and new perspectives. The colors, perfect. The title, profound. Excellent piece.


  • truembrace
    August 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this poem completely encaptures the title with your strength of imagery in so few lines. the imagery of fireflies is just perfect - I think one of my favorites as it ties so many of us to our childhood.

    simply wonderful Reenie...


  • maa gold member
    July 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    congratulations on your hm in this inspiring contest, sweetie ...
    you're really good at those concrete haiku ...

    maa


  • azure85 gold member
    July 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very nice haiku, you can picture the fireflies in the jar caught by children during the summertime. Thank you for a delightful entry.


  • Pollycheck
    July 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering our workshop/contest, "The Shape of the Haiku." Good luck.

    freedom lost

    fire flies caught



    in



    glass jar

    This is a very nice haiku with the "aha" moment coming in the first line. The concrete form is also very nice.


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    July 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully done! Words with such poignancy to depict feelings of such fear!
    A stunning piece. Good luck in this contest
    Gaylene


  • Griswold
    July 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Nicely done for this contest. i like it, best of luck to you...Scott

1 - 8 of 8