Your joy is my contentment
Your smile is my goal
I want to bring you happiness
To light your heart and soul
I would travel untold distance
To search your eyes with mine
Anytime with you is precious
Cherished moments intertwined
With you the beauty in me shines
And I have truly grown
I give my total self to you
In love to you alone
Your fragrance lifts my spirit
Your sweet breath fills my chest
A joy and hunger uncontrolled
Beat within my breast
Pull me ever closer
With your poetic grace
Until we come together
To share this one same space
With bodies pressed so tightly
I feel your passions rise
My spirit moves inside you
As I look into your eyes
An instinct born of you in me
Breaths deep felt gasps of yearning
Desires build that know no bounds
Fulfilled by passions burning
Entwined our bodies meld
Our spirits become one
We soar beyond the realms of time
To crest above the sun
Sincere and intimate union
Harmony of you and me
Create the masterpiece complete
That we were meant to be
I need you deep inside me
Now and evermore
In body mind and spirit
A love worth waiting for
In a list
A contest entry
- For Love by live in love.
500 points, ended October 9, 2007, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tryyy and fit a square into a circle :] *OPTIONS* by innocence jaded.xx.
525 points, ended May 2, 2008, 43 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Well, even tho it sits high in the entres so far, I think this submit should sit a little higher.
The rhyming is spot on, and reads very easily. well done.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read my entry & make a comment. I'm glad you liked it!
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Absolutely beautiful.
Nothing else really needs to be said. I loved your descriptive ways of writing, and how every line has a hidden meaning behind it. Very well written.
"I give my total self to you
In love to you alone"
I'm not even sure why, but those lines really stood out to me. Ahmazinggg poem. Loved it :]
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First of all I have to tell you that even after having finished this, the lines...
With you the beauty in me shines
And I have truly grown
still stick within my mind. I just love the way you have expressed this here. In regards to your author comments about the ending being too simplistic all I can say is that it is really a matter of personal preference there. It depends how you intended for this to end... softly, powerfully, forcefully, etc. What you have seems fitting enough fdrom my perspective.
♥ Touchof1der -
"Fulfilled by passions burning
Entwined our bodies meld
Our spirits become one
We soar beyond the realms of time" This part imparticular was just amazing and the true embodiment of what physical love should be! This peice was so beautiful and deep. It felt like I was right there watching the wole thing play out before my eyes. You had an exclent flow and every single part of the poem worked really well together making the rest of this peice strength! The last line does work very well with the rest of the poem! Excelent! -
The last line give us all hope
I think the last line gives us all hope!
please don't change it. It's love and beauty really shine through,
makes us
all fall in love with you too! lol
I would love to see you add music from the music chooser
with this poem! You really reached in and let your
heart speak, it's clean and organized so not to overwhelm.It describes love's birth and how wonderfully gracious and so
fulfilling it is to to finally find that special someone "who gets
me and who gets you too." It made us relive that most precious
of feelings of finally love discovered & recovered with all it's grace
I think I"ll add you to my favorites, you didn't hide behind too many
words, which we all know is just to damn easy to do..
big sigh..
Thankyou for sharing this with all of us!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen
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A very sweet and loving piece, full of emotions overflowing to the one who is loved... Very good rhymes. Beautiful work!
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I love this! such a positive emotional piece! great flow and rhyme makes it more interesting as well. I think the last line is perfect!
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amazing
love the emotion and feeling you get from it!! -
I absulutely Loved this Piece........
so much emotion in your words.......
I love these type of poems!!!!!!!
how you make me feel as if i was actually there
in that moment........
Not many people can capture feelings
as well as you have in the poem.......
How every line flows nicely into the next......
great write!!!!!!!!!!!!
I cant wait to read more of your poems!!!!!!
A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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great
A beautiful love poem shared by two. Easy flowing and great write. I like the way you put it "Your smile is my goal" I remember my husband's last smile. It's a precious memory to me. I also like "Anytime with you is precious" Time spent with together is important. My husband and I had many good times together.
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Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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This is a really good poem and you ryhmed the words so well!! Needing someone is love and love is needing someone if you know what I mean, sounds weird but its very true!! Great write really!!
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Wow,this is so beautiful and powerful,a awesome way to declare your love!...God Bless..Hazel
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A beautiful and perfectly rhymed love poem. Just delightful. Wonderful meter in this. ~Pamela
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Pamela,
Thanks for the feedback! I was concerned that the meter was not as smooth in some spots, but I stumble on some of the famous poems when reading them. I was also afraid the last line was too “sappy”. It’s nice to get comments from other writers. Yours is my first. -
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My pleasure.
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