Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Outta Here

                 

Tired of malls and other stores
I went shopping in the sky
Not so crowded but no parking
is the rule if you can fly

I flew right through two clouds for sale
far too large and much too pale
A wind I thought would be quite nice
the one I bought was cold as ice

Over penguins soon we blew
Eskimos and icebergs too
Atop this big world’s updownsides
I learned that I could not reside

Then like my friend the honking goose
I bid au revoir to snow and moose
I headed for the parallel
between the poles to fires of hell

“Florida, from high above
seems small below” said my pal dove
“This is the place, my Shangri-la”

but as I spoke a roar went by
there somewhere in the darkening sky
a rocket sailing caught my eye

so as it passed I hitched the draft
I was but rat upon a raft
vamoosing without cry or path

The Moon the stars and back to Mars
from whence forth many claim I came
for I always played a different game

And looking down at round and blue
Again I begin to pity you

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • islekine gold member
    June 2

    Edit | Reply

    This is a great write...

    I prefer something written fresh...especially for a picture prompt...but if it fits...it's a good thing! lol
    Best wishes in the contest and always!
    Write on and on...


  • Frozentearz
    January 4

    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations Bill on all your awards
    This write had an upbeat way about it
    And I enjoyed the ride thanks for joining in
    Warm thoughts.
    Frozentearz


  • Great Cthulhu
    December 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Yay!

    What a fun, fantastical vision you've created here! Well done! Thanks for playing along!!


  • Georgia La Mariposa
    October 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Let me know who you are thanks for the poem x


  • DarknessOfSanity
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    kudos

    wow! i really liked this one! it showed fantastic emotion, had great flow, and was just a really neat little poem! i enjoyed reading it so much! thanks for entering! good luck!


  • sassykitty
    August 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Really liked the opening of this and the rejection of conventional distractions. An interesting and imaginative write, I found myself joining you on your journey. Nice write and thanks for entering. Good luck in my contest.


  • james119
    July 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    great flight of fancy
    The Cape Canaveral allusion is a very interesting departure. I enjoyed it.


  • Lady Michaella
    July 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for entering!!!!! Great job! I'm guessing the emotion here is happy or crazy? Or flying lol.


  • mwilson50
    January 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Good one

    This was enjoyable to read, and flowed. I like the ending especially. Started touring the Earth, then hitched a ride to go even higher, further. Thanks for entering this!


  • Dlvvanzor
    August 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Cool! Has a very fun air to it. No pun intended. ^_^ Great write.

    Good luck in the contest,
    -Dlvvanzor


  • DolphinLass silver member
    August 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    congrats


  • Zephyr Aryn
    August 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I just realised something that doesn't make sense...that is, if you think of it in literal terms:

    "Over penguins soon we blew
    Eskimos and icebergs too
    Atop this big world’s upperside"

    Penguins are from the SOUTH pole. Polar bears are from the north. I'll let it slide a little, though, because you probably used it to help with the meter.


  • Zephyr Aryn
    July 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting take on the prompt. Personifying a kite took me on quite a wild ride. Keep on writing!


  • Sandygram
    July 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Great Poem!!!

    Well Bill, your rhyme was so great and this was such a pleasure to read. Nice journey that your words took us on. To be one among the clouds and go where we chose. Sounds like a nice childhood dream that never left your thoughts my friend. We all keep a few tucked away. Thanks for sharing.You take care, Sandy

1 - 14 of 14