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Oh Thoughts

Beware, escape the constant dangers of acceptance and of settlement             
let no walls restrain you on the endless path you walk
Its hall is longer than the life, doors to rooms are clues but have no signs
to treasures all known numbers squared cannot count yet one might find
if one who thinks seeks for them not outside of the mind

Do not inside a room your anchor plant, a seed will best suffice
that might grow to add more to the ancient rethought layers of advice
Before an exit fertilize with tears then homage pay
to the tombs of all those thoughts which failed to find a further star or better way
rotting in that void named complacency where they still lay

And where at last, your red liquids spent, you transform a weary self to dust
a backward glance a forward stare shows no begin or ending there
where only seen is a path, whose travelers each have called it MUST
winding through dimensions, ending in some other universe
where is so often found that truth is its reverse



Author notes

- The philosophy is my own - I believe in infinity: that time is a human concept as are all our measurements, and that whatever "we" discover or "invent" applies only to "us" solely for our conveniences. I believe that life is a force that utilizes substance, there are infinite universes within in infinite universes, infinite dimensions within infinite dimensions, infinite forces within infinite forces, and an infinite amount of other stuff we are incapable of comprehending, that there are no voids, beginnings or ends, etc. And I believe that philosophy is the only science that will, to some degree at some point, free and enlighten us, that we don't really know anything and never could and never will, that religion is make believe and that we can only "live", long after our life ends, in the genes of our offspring, as does, without exception, all other living matter on earth. I believe it is natural and important (and fun) to explore onward and outward and backward via the utilization of the wondrous minds we have developed through stages of inconceivable evolutions. I believe that philosophy is the single path that exists to realistic possibilities and enlightenments - which all other sciences or processes or explorations will not and cannot approach, dent, scratch, obtain, or ever achieve. I believe in a lot of other stuff, but I, after having been ejected from, in the 11th grade, a typing class, have achieved, painfully, a typing speed of 19 words per minute with around twenty-five mistakes, deem therefore this note is too torturous (probably more so for you than me) to progress. C'est la vie - billpoet


************

Calling All SoCal Poets!!! b i l l p o e t (live in N. of San Diego two months a year)

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 99 of 196     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • bunnyslasher157
    November 10
    ?
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    Judge

    Good Job on this piece. you've been invited to the next round. Good luck and keep writing!!


  • Darkmoon
    November 9
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    This was very interesting, might i say. Thank you so much for the entry and good luck.


  • myrataal silver member
    November 9

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    Interesting poem.

    Impressive journey you took with this poem. Of course, there are so many angles to angel Naka, that I can see why you entered this contest. Thank you so much for the submission.

  • aychellus gold member
    October 25

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    a philisophical jaunt through lifes missions & pitfalls

    nice to meet a fellow navel gazer, your notes on the piece are almost a philosophical treatise in it's own right, made my head swim somewhat and did i detect a slight jungian and also fatalistic influence in there somewhere.
    great read will have me thinking for some time!!


  • Forgotten Lilith
    October 25

    Edit | Reply
    that we can only "live", long after our life ends, in the genes of our offspring

    Or in alternate universes and dimensions? haha

    I love this kind of poetry that you must read and interpret each line. I agree with you on many aspects philosophically and would like to show this poem to some science major friends of mine!

    How did this poem cheer me up? For one, it gave me something to think about other than my own trivial problems and had my mind out there in the universe somewhere. Also, you remind me not to plant all my seeds in one room of my mind, especially the attention needing depressive room. Thank you for entering and best wishes.


  • Tinselpool
    October 24

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    I must say, indeed very good vocab you have entwined in this beautifully penned poem. I had to look up 6 words!!! Now that's a lot. It's a confusing poem, especially for my age, and I read it a couple times before I got it.

    Before an exit fertilize with tears then homage pay
    to the tombs of all those thoughts which failed to find a further star or better way
    rotting in that void named complacency where they still lay

    That has to be my favorite part, and in this poem, it was pretty hard to pick. It's absolutely quite a poem, and I'm sure that it has positive outlooks in the future. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.

    Regards,

    Claire


  • Fibe Kill-DFW Punk-
    October 21

    Edit | Reply
    A very good write indeed, but wasn't exactly what I was looking for. I wanted something more raw, and I didn't really feel any fire in this.

    Thanks for entering anyhow, and again, this was a very well written poem.


  • Dryad Enya
    October 21

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    Your philosophy is intreguing to say the least! Every stanza is carfully crafted and yielded with the best outcome that could be thought off, every word inscripted like digital deja-vu pursed and sung upon winds warped around vinilla essance and sinagoags malfuncation allows only to enchance more audiance...delightful!

    "an infinite amount of other stuff"... that sums up everything really doesn't it. I don't think anyone could say that better so it is no suprise to find you gathered with so many trophies and coments to praise the almighty strength and power placed with in the sentiment of your write.

    Best of luck in my contest and keep it up!
    Dryad Enya


  • rinzurajan
    October 4

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    the poem has found a lot of acceptance...i can see that by the trophies...and the kind of philosphy that goes with it is quite accpetable at times when everything else seems to break ur head...

    good luck


  • Draig aine gold member
    September 29

    Edit | Reply

    this is an amazing piece

    packed with philosphy and very well written the stanza


    Do not inside a room your anchor plant, a seed will best suffice
    that might grow to add more to the ancient rethought layers of advice
    Before an exit fertilize with tears then homage pay
    to the tombs of all those thoughts which failed to find a further star or better way
    rotting in that void named complacency where they still lay



    is quite stunning, I thankyou for your entry


  • Spiritual Soul gold member
    September 21

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    I don't really see how this goes with the prompt but it was very interesting to read. I'm taking a Philosophy course this semester and I really like it. Anyway thanks for sharing.
    Blessings,
    ~Michaela~


  • Vhoori
    September 12
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    Thanks for entering! Seems this poem has won you alot of trophies! I wish you the best on the contest and good luck!

  • izzy1804
    September 1
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    Good write Good luck


  • Heavenly Angel gold member
    August 31

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    Most, most excellent!!!
    So very indepth and insightful; much enjoyed
    Thank you for sharing and for being a part of this contest
    Congrats on all those trophies!!!!


  • Florida Sunshine
    August 30

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    I believe that your poem completely reflects your philosophy's. I do agree with what you've written, and believe that there are dimensions among dimensions that we as human beings are incapable of understanding.

    You did an excellent presentation of the poetry. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your work. I do appreciate you took the time to submit a piece into the contest. I will be judging as quickly as possible. Thanks.


  • Heroesrox
    August 28

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    Do not inside a room your anchor plant, a seed will best suffice
    that might grow to add more to the ancient rethought layers of advice
    Before an exit fertilize with tears then homage pay
    to the tombs of all those thoughts which failed to find a further star or better way
    rotting in that void named complacency where they still lay


    I adore that stanza, and I like how you worded everything. This is very nice. It's won ya a handful of trophies, to boot! Great work. Good luck in my contest and thank you for entering.


  • MourningSun
    August 27
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    This a very good poem and displays intelligence. I liked it. Good job and Good luck.


  • wbiro gold member
    August 26

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    "an infinite amount of other stuff"... couldn't have said it any better myself... it reminds me of 'explanations', how anything we do has an infinite number of reasons why we did it... so when someone asks me, "Why did you do that?" I reply, "How far into the infinite number of reason do you want me to go?"

    I do disagree about philosophy, however, I think it is one big piece of fiction... though it serves a purpose, kind of like a handrail through the dark tunnel of life... it gives us something to hold on to for short periods of time...

    As for religion and an afterlife and all that, they are philosophies, and serve the handrail purpose; any notion we have is man-made, including God... and any 'after life' would be due to some future person recreating us... for we are, after all, objects, and man fashions objects...

    Our hope (and the real excitement) is in the 'hard' sciences, those that are quantized, mathematically based, those that allow us to shape the universe, and predict it's course... which is in disagreement with your notion that we 'can never really know anything'... the real question is, will we ever know everything?

    I do like that imagination quote by Einstein... and I would add that it makes possible our dealing with and exploring future problems before they arise, as a lot of science fiction does...

    Well, so far I've responded to your author's notes...! Your poem is a good abstraction, full of the stuff of unquantisized thoughts themselves... the stuff of science fiction... (and even mysticism...)

    and typing slow has it's advantages, it allows our minds to wander ahead, many times changing a piece's course, or even conclusions...


  • PaintedParisPassion
    August 25

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    And where at last, your red liquids spent, you transform a weary self to dust
    a backward glance a forward stare shows no begin or ending there
    where only seen is a path, whose travelers each have called it MUST


    Another trophy collector Thanks for entering and good luck.

    ♥


  • Shadow Anonymised gold member
    August 21

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    thanks the amazing entry. i really like the imagery youve used, but i'm not so keen on the meter... i think it needs to be shorter, ie fewer syllables per line. i think its too slow as it stands.

    thanks again and good luck.


  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    August 19

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    Interesting. Very good description.

    Favorite line: Do not inside a room your anchor plant, a seed will best suffice

    I think the poem spoke in itself the prettiness of poeticness.

    Thank you for entering.


  • K-a-r-s
    August 18

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    I like it. it is very good. It describes life in a way i how never heard life described. I like when poems open my eyes to different ways of thinking and i believe yours did just that. Great Job. and good luck in the contest!


  • PatheticKt
    August 17

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    Very thought-provoking especially like how it was narrated, not being thought by a persona, because it seems deserving for this write to let the reader be informed about your views
    From reading this, I felt like I was in a place opening the door to go outside to be in another place and doing the same thing over and over again 'till infinity; this tugs the reader's mind very much.
    What I can critique is how the rhyming scheme isn't in form but it's not that important and in my opinion, I think the reader would trip on the 6th line or it could be just me
    All in all, it's a good write, indeed


  • kylierenea
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    I really loved how easy this poem is to read. I flew through it, and it sounded so beautiful the way you used your words. This is a great write, keep up the good work and thanks for entering my contest


  • EvenStarsBreak--x
    August 13
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    Beautiful and quite deep as well =]


  • sideways hourglass
    August 12

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    Honestly, I think this would have worked better as free verse, because you had so many ideas it seemed that you struggled to get a rhythm going on consistently. Also, the rhyme seemed a bit forced. Just my opinion. I enjoyed the metaphors and images...they brought out your ideas strongly. I actually think this would work better if you tossed the rhyming and just stuck with your ideas and used line breaking techniques to control the flow...I believe you could do it. The question is...would you experiment and take such a chance? We'll see. Thank you for entering.


  • Palas Kumar Ray
    July 28

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    I have read this thought for once but I understand I must read repeatedly to enter into its depth.Perhaps I will re-write my wholesome comment on this work .Thanks for sharing.


  • ILuvsMeKitties
    July 27
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    extramly pretty


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    July 27

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    Very nice wirte. Losts of trophies for it and I agree it is a good write. I like how you think so positively and it gives much food for thought. Thank you for sharing this with us.


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    July 25

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    This made me think of Nietzsche; that was, perhaps, your saving-grace here.

    I'm really glad you've gotten so many accolades, etc... for this write, though I find entering your poem in 40 different contests at once is a tad disrespectful, both to the contest-judges and your poem.

    Bits of this were lovely. Others were like reading a philosophy-textbook. I'm not really sure where I stand here.

    In short, you may be a finalist, and you may not. We'll see.

    Thanks for entering.


  • x Gemini x
    July 24

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    Thank you for entering my contest.

    I will say I enjoyed this peice, though I felt it was less poetic than to be expected. It's a unique persepective, by all means, and what, in essence, I was looking for. I certainly applaud your ability to philisophise on such a level, in a world like ours.

    The only real critque I have is that stanza 2 seemed written a bit differently - more old-fashioned; English-style writing. Not that it's bad and, of course, it is simply MY opinion, but I thought I'd point it out.

    Oh, and for the record, the notes helped a lot.

    Bravo


  • Antebellum
    July 15

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    wow.
    I can see why this has won so many contests.
    a wonderful write
    thanks so much for taking the time to enter,
    good luck


  • Shantti
    July 13

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    This is deep and so worthy of all it's trophies. Well written and contemplative.
    Most excellent. Thank you for entering it in my contest


  • Cyanide Dreams
    July 4

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    I liked your philosophy. It makes alot of sense. I think though, that when you're entering a full stop, use a perioud. Also, use commas in your writings, this leaves the sentence going on forever. I'm not one for punctuation abuse, but this could use it. Other than that I really enjoyed this piece. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.

    Josh


  • BrokenHeart95
    July 4

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    It was awesome!!!

    That a was an amazing poem...I like your philosophy... I actually love philosophy on her own... Everybody has it's own thoughts... and we can't reject anything... Because if you sit and think,you're absolutely right!!!I really liked this poem,the hole subject is great!!!


  • happy kitty kat
    July 2
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    very deep

    thanks for entering


  • Angel Lunarious gold member
    June 29
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    this was a very good write thanks for entering and good luck


  • nobodys-girl
    June 28

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    oh wow...this is just awesome! i totally agree with your philosophy. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck


  • Mr.
    June 24
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    Amazing thoughts.


  • Stuart Higginson gold member
    June 22
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    While a profound piece with much expressed, and enjoyable and informative as a poem in its own right, I was asking for more personal and first-person matter from my contest's entrants. The journey the entrant to the contest has made from the end of the relationship, through experiences and emotions, back to oneself as a single person. There was nothing that told "your" tale ... nothing about the relationship, why it ended, how you reacted ... how you moved on from it etc; it's more evidently a didactic piece for others, a narrative of sorts. There was no sense the relationship in question was of this age, or that the poem was sourced from a particular relationship ... things which I had hoped to read and identify. Good work nonetheless, but not quite what I had called for.


  • spiritraven
    June 19

    Edit | Reply

    Very good

    Lot of thought provoking words. Your outlook on life is very deep and I have to really think when I read your works. Thanks for sharing and I can see why you won all the trophies

  • Topnotchsy
    June 18
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    I think this is the third time I've come across this piece, but there are far worse pieces to have come across numerous times. You've got more trophies on this poem than most have total.

  • Stuart Higginson gold member
    June 18

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    I have copied this to Word to read thoroughly and critique offline tonight. Remaining critiques for this contest will be posted between tonight and Sunday; contest to be judged on Sunday. Many thanks for this entry which I shall look forward to reading.


  • Blueskywonder
    June 17

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    Truth resonates the same freqeuncy in all... no one can deny its harmonizung effects
    you are on a journey
    can i just say, we were meant to share this journey on a sacred course discovering the greatest of intelligence with is the soulfull beauty of everything shared with we
    remove structures and belief, expand consciounsly
    you are a sharp individual... may you find the truth tou so dearly seek
    Thank-you for taking the time to share your clever and creative self with us


  • The Fun House silver member
    June 12

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    I can easily see how the image has inspired this piece. It was an interesting and lovely piece to read

  • jadeangyal
    June 9

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    Relates loosely to my contest, in that life is just a flicker in eternity. The last two lines are very cool. I am all for exploring the universe within your own mind, and you have written well about it.


  • moaner
    June 4

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    lovely poem and did make me think, but it has no relivance to my contest. hope you win in some of ur others, good luck x


  • jacbgd2 gold member
    May 31

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    I enjoyed this read.  Although, I did have to think outside my usual box to truly get the pictured meaning of this lovely piece!!!! Thanks again for the invitation to read this captivating piece!!!!!!!!!!


  • peaceimout
    May 30

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    I like the infinite of possibilities that you provide with your philosophy. It makes a lot of sense and offers a lot of thought provoking sentiments that I can't help but to feel is more practical than some beliefs. Thank you much for entering and leaving me with some things to ponder.


  • DramaQueen469 gold member
    May 29

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    Peer Pressure :)

    This is a very powerful write; a well-executed poem.
    Best of luck in the contest!

    Maria

  • Topnotchsy
    May 28

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    I've enjoyed this poem in the past, and am happy to get another chance now. If for some reason I did not leave smiley's or a comment last time, I leave them now, for a well written thought provoking piece.


  • HaleyMary
    May 28

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    That's a really cool write. I especially liked the ending. Very clever. I'm sorry you couldn't enter my contest. Thanks for taking the time to message and share it with me, though.

    Haley Mary


  • C J Weatherholt
    May 23
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    Beautifully written, there's not much else I can say. Welcome to the finalists list.


  • venomoustoad
    May 21

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    Not only did I enjoy your thought provocing(pun intended)poem but I would like to ask you to submit that and if possible your authors note to "The Book of Bafflement Project"
    "...And I believe..that religion is make believe and... I believe it is natural and important (and fun) to explore onward and outward and backward via the utilization of the wondrous minds we have developed through stages of inconceivable evolutions." These ideas are fundamental to the Blameless Life Philosophy. If your willing,please submit through the reading list so that you are assured of retaining your copyright.Thanks again for joining.


  • Mariana gold member
    May 18

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    Bravo!...Can I come study at your school?

    Mariana  


  • RainbowEyes
    May 17

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    I totally agree with your philosophy... and I love this poem. The rhyme scheme is creative, ad your style is unique and great.


  • onerios13
    May 14

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    I liked the thoughts behind this. It was actually very heartfelt and sincere.

    Yep, liked it even though it violated about a dozen douche rules, lol.

  • Shantti
    May 13
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    This is very Shackpherian, so well thought out and told.
    No wonder it's won all those trophy's!
    Totally mesmerizing. Love it


  • aslanlight
    May 11

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    Religion might be make believe, or a set of rules, tradition and routine as I see it, but why rule out spirituality?

    Your poem is intricately profound, interesting and thought provoking.

    Peace Georgia


  • Patpowers silver member
    May 9

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    I like your way of philosophy in this work. Very creative and expressed. One of your best works my friend. Keep it up!

  • Cyanide Dreams
    May 9
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    84

    Title: 9/10
    Originality: 9/10
    Emotion: 8/10
    Grammar/Spelling: 8/10
    Flow/Structure: 7/10
    Imagery: 9/10
    Overall Use of Poetic Devices: 8/10
    Reaction: 8/10
    Rules: 10/10
    Overall: 8/10
    Totaling: 84/100

    This was nicely done. At first I didn't catch on to the rhyme scheme. Which is truly amazing because I know when something rhymes instantly. I think though, that the flow was torn away from the piece from lack of line breaks. Line breaks in a piece like this, especially in a rhyming poem are essential to keep a poems flow going. I liked the idea and message behind this though and I really liked what you did with this. Great job and good luck in the contest.

    Josh


  • Deceits Tears silver member
    May 5

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    Your choice of a prewrite entry was spot on I love this, Its very deep and i love how you think... well done !!
    Thankyou for your entry Good Luck


  • shiratikva
    May 1

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    It's a very interesting philosophy formed like a poem.
    Very well done!
    Thank you for entering, good luck!


  • bananasfoster42
    April 30
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    this is defintely DEEP! and gratz on all those trophies! thanks for the entry!


  • SilverWolf
    April 28
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    very good way you put your own beleifs into a poem
    very good choice of words

  • Jason-R-Britt
    April 27

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    While I enjoyed the poem, and feel it is quite beautiful, I do not believe it belongs in this contest, for it really has nothing to do with liberty. I see the freedom, but not as it relates to the topic as a whole. Thank you for your entry.


  • RainbowEyes
    April 26
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    Very interesting write. I agree about time being human-mnade. I love this poem and the rhyming is phenominal.


  • Three Doves
    April 25

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    Congratulations on the award! I share in many of your philosophies and still repectfully hold true to my beliefs. You have presented your statements well for all to understand. Eternity is infinite and our universe is but only one of many. With galaxy upon galaxy, waiting to be discovered, or protecting themselves from us. Either way, we are not the Supreme Being. Thank God for that.
    In God's Love
    Three Doves

  • Backporchphilosopher gold member
    April 23
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    Wow, amazing write

    beautiful, deep, thought-provoking...as many trophies attest! Thanks for entering!


  • Emmyb gold member
    April 18
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    Very interesting rhyme scheme. Exactly what I was looking for in this contest. well done. I am being helped to judge this and we are both impressed with this effort. I liked the repitition of the word infinite, and the power of your descriptions. well done on getting to the finalists list. Will be judging later. Emmyb


  • Ami
    April 15

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting ..

    What prompt did you use?

    Great Write and
    Thank You for entering my contest
    Good Luck
    -♥Amanda♥


  • MysteriousWhisper
    April 14

    Edit | Reply
    excellent. amazing analysis on thoughts and what they are to you. I can see the thoughts and what they mean. this a great poem and good luck in the contest!


  • HereComesTheSun
    April 12

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    was quite an amazing poem and its inspiration as well shown in the piece. my only suggestion is periods at the ends of sentences (a little pet peeve of mine) :]
    thanks for entering


  • Bean Sidhe silver member
    April 9

    Edit | Reply
    Goodness. Initially, I didn't even pick up on the rhyme scheme - which is a testament to your skills because I am not a fan & typically can point it out within the first few lines.

    Now, having said that, you must know your talents as you have no shortage of applause and trophies for this particular piece. I'm not sure how it relates to my contest, in specific, but I am pleased that you shared it with me.

    I would suggest breaking the lines down a bit. Moreso for flow than anything else because the way they read currently, it is disrupted when the poem is read aloud (which is how I judge my contest entries so that I can mull over each entry and digest each word individually).

    I would also say that a touch more punctuation could be useful for the same reason.

    However, you have strong ideas captured with beautiful words and your imagery is spot on in more areas than not. So, this is a lovely entry into my contest and I appreciate the chance to read your work.

    Best of luck!

    - Bean

  • The Rainbows Mind
    April 8

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    Philosophy is free and poesses a "curture" all its own. Although it is not limited by the normal bounds of "conventional" thought, there are cany philosophies to go around.
    The differences between a standard culture of restriction and the culture of philosophy is that philosophies work together to strengthen the "world" or the mind which ends up creating a world and reality all its own. It is uncomprehendable because it is hard for us to separate ourselves from the hardened and thick molasses of coultural conventions and reality constructions. "Everyththing we believe is a result of our encounters in the world."
    Speaking of "philosophy", one of my favorites will always be Tao Te Ching but I am always open to knew wonders. Philosophy is never judgemental and it is never wrong. Although philosophy should never base itself on human opinions and misguided judgemental perceptions.
    "When you label one ting as beautiful
    something else becomes ugly.
    When you label something as good
    something else becomes bad." (Tao Te Ching)
    Great poem, thanks for entering. Good luck in the contest:
    BC.


  • EternalFyre
    April 8
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    An interesting poem indeed. Good luck in the contest and keep on writing!


  • LucyLightning
    April 6

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    I really enjoyed this poem
    &the last lines really hit home for me.
    It seriously exploded & just blammed right out, for lack of better words

    Keep writing & good luck in the contest!


  • Aajdj
    April 3
    Edit | Reply

    what


  • Sam-I-Am
    March 30
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. Very well written. Good luck!
    Sam


  • TheDayTimeStopped
    March 28
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    This is good. I liked it. It flowed very nicely. Great write. Good luck in my contest.


  • Evenstar gold member
    March 27
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this. I enjoyed reading it. It realy did fit into 1984 for reality well. I liked the rhyme and flow of the poem and how the sentences never seemed to end.
    However,with the amount of contests this is already in,I doubt you were into the contest.which of course is always the risk of allowing prewrites.
    good job though.
    Thanks for joining the contest.


  • Loveberry
    March 20
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    oooh, such a closing line! it really drives the point home
    you did a fabulous job writing this piece, but i'm sure you already know that as evidenced by your numerous trophies and comments lol. this piece was extremely moving and motivational, and i love the tie to the quote!
    thanks for your entry and good luck in the competition!
    ~~


  • Jesann gold member
    March 18
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    Well I really like you poem.
    Love the lines...
    "And where at last, your red liquids spent, you transform a weary self to dust a backward glance a forward stare shows no begin or ending there where only seen is a path"

    Great wording and thoughts throughout.
    Congrats on your many awards for this poem.


  • dewfall
    March 18
    Edit | Reply
    i hope you've read Kant


  • LoveDeprived
    March 10

    Edit | Reply
    I think though, that believing in infinity is like a motionless speck of dust trying to chase the void that surrounds it. just saying .. We humans are overcomed by the limitless possibilities, and in the short lifespan we have we try to squeeze out the most of it, creating the convenience called technology, and we first only think is what can we use it for, when it really should be what is the cost of its use, and thus technology explodes in our hands, and we rarely see that. The consequences, we just lay it upon the next generation to fix the past's mistakes. Philosophy is more a curse a burden, to think so much to think more when we just still die. philosophy only enlightens those who can understand, when everything seems so bright and so full of life for you, when you understand so much, nobody will ever understand and when you try to explain they can never feel, then when you die nobody will ever know how you felt, its a pitty. But im just blabbering my own non-sense i can't comprehend sh1t im just a kid.. beautiful write though was a great read for me..


  • BrittlesSkittles
    March 9
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    i think you are highly aware of the beauty and quality of this poem. you've gotten many awards for it, and i feel my critique isn't necessary. i enjoyed reading it though and it very much so fits the prompt and i appreciate that. thanks for entering and good luck.


  • T.o.r.t.u.r.e. gold member
    March 9

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    dear lord that is alot of contests. and trophies lol sorry that was the first thing i noticed... now to the point of the poem you have some really good metaphors. Interesting take on the quote. Good job and good luck in the contest

  • drifting cloud silver member
    March 7

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    I like all your metaphors. I believe that the mind is the cause, the world is the effect.

    Hmm... you believe in other dimensions, but believe we only exist in this dimension and only as long as the body 'lives' in this dimension.


  • Nicada silver member
    March 6
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    This is very well written and a great philosophy as well. You are very deserving of all the trophies. Great job, and thank so much for entering. BLessings, Patty

  • Blueskywonder
    March 5
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    A Great Write!
    Your discoveries are well placed... clearly expressed.
    You are aligned to infinite truths... shine with clarity.
    I like the wuestion's you ask!
    Thank-You for taking the time to enter my contest with such a fine philosophical piece of poetry


  • Angelo di Luce gold member
    February 27
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    Wonderful philosophy indeed, I have to agree with most of it
    Splendit write, thank you

  • Backporchphilosopher gold member
    February 24
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    Points for entering great write!!!!!!!


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    February 23
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    I really like the way this is written, the concept. Very powerful words here. Well penned.
    Laura


  • Gillian-Noelle
    February 21

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    Reminds me of one of my favourite images or symbols,the ouroboros.Very poignant and profound.The opening couple of lines of each stanza are powerful words and make for lingering thoughts. Good entry.


  • SoulfulBubbles
    February 15

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    hmm interesting

    tell me more
    i want to hear more



    this piece for some reason made me picture something like a circle


    and quantum physics came to mind as well as a few other things



    thank you for entering

  • Backporchphilosopher gold member
    February 10

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    Nice write as attested to by many trophies

    Like your personal philosophical viewpoint and the nature of infinity therein...loved the idea of no restraint that logically follows and description of rooms with doors....and not anchor plant but plant a seed for our actions can live on in ripple effects after us, as another "offspring"...thanks for entering this awesome write!


  • sharptooth
    February 10
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    i agree in part with LunaAmara's comment - it might serve easier to read and digest if it were broken up more, but i loved the concept. it's really true and it makes you think a bit.

    i know i have my own set of personal philosophies and if anyone else tried them on, it probably wouldn't suit them. there is a lot of great stuff here, in the poem & in the author's note even.


  • Umi Juvariel
    February 5

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    Good write. I did enjoy the few words of advice I found, and felt that it was well worded. Your philosophy was interesting, and I must wish you good luck in my contest.


  • LunaAmara
    February 1

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    There's a lot of great advice in here and I really like your take on them, but I wish it was broken up more, maybe in more stanzas. The lines are lengthy and I unfortunately cannot stay attentive.
    But I love your ideas and your philosophies.

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