Shine the light into your soul
make me need you here.
Pick me up when I'm low,
dry my falling tears.
Your shining smile melts my heart,
your lips invite me in.
Your touch, tears me apart
as i feel it rise within.
You hold me when i cry
shattering all the pain.
I look deep into your eye,
sunshine comes from rain.
I need you when you're not there,
I long for your touch.
you strip my soul bare,
I never wanted anyone this much.
I long for your touch on skin
ignite my love for you.
Sparks fly accross my heart,
fireworks from within.
We said forever
so it shall be,
I love you
and you love me,
our hearts entwined.
My heart a padlock,
yours the key.
Author notes
i love my bf more than anything in the world
he is my everything and i would die for him
he makes me more happy than i have ever been
and makes all the pain just float away
XD
snickerdoodles
XInSaNiTy_FaIrX
take your best shot..i know it sucks, and is cliched so try something else...
A contest entry
- 3 rounds contest! by Beating.
600 points, ended August 11, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me your [[L.o.v.e]] Story.... by xxLost-in-Lovexx.
550 points, ended August 17, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me How by Paulies Cracker.
430 points, ended November 6, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - this contest might get me in trouble by vacant lot.
307 points, ended October 18, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Stories :) by forbidden-colour.
300 points, ended October 27, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Thank you for entering
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Lol I'm really not being that harsh. Well I was on one or two but those poems deserved it, they really sucked. It's hard not to be cliche when you're writing about love, and this one wasn't that bad. I got a little uneasy at the end though, when I read how you felt about him in your notes. Maybe I'm too negative but it always makes me sad when someones really in love if I don't know how the other person feels. If both people are seriously in love, it's cool. Even if they get torn apart, but if it's just one person who feels that strong its sad. So now I got some mixed emotions reading this. It was well written though, good luck and thanks for entering.
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thank you so much and i'm so sorry for the inconveince.... this was wonderful and i give you a 10! I could really feel the intense emotion in this about this person who is so close to you and your longing for them. thank you keep up the good work and good luck.
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thank you so much. this is wonderful.... have to edit my contest because stupid me put the rules and everything in the wrong place, but if you would please re-read my contest in a few minutes and re-enter that would be amazing....!! please and thank you!
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Ooh! This is so full of love and so sweet. I'm literally sitting here smiling. You made me happy
You truly did what I asked you to do - you made me love whoever it is you directed your love to when you wrote this. You made me feel like you wrote. Truly amazing.
The only thing that I'm not too fond of in this is the ending line. I don't know, I just expected something more epic or whatever to end it. Hm... -
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added lines at the end...to make it sound better as you said that end line was a bit shxt...and i agree...so reread n shizzzzz...
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