she soaked for hours at a time
never lit candles
put on music
or shared the tub
cherished complete solitude
and the stillness of the water
at times i submerge my body
and hold my breath
like she used to do
only death could
substitute the silence
wet and wrinkled
or salty
she was kissable
even with the aftertaste of vodka
and diluted sleeping pills
at times i submerge my body
long to become the water
to rest in her corrugated skin
and be the stillness
that closed her eyes
In a list
- fav.s [pt. III] • next in list
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Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Beautiful~
I lvoed the descriptions and love you added into the poem.
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"Epeurant !"
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I really thought I was the one that is drowning! Such a stunning piece of poetry.
Keep writing
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i'm at a loss for words...
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I wrote this after my girlfriend commited suicide. there's a whole series about the subject.
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it tugs...
as i'm sure it really does for you
so sorry -
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it did at first, but it can't be changed and I don't like to dwell in the past. happened years ago.
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wtf. this said I hadn't commented.
and I knew I had. but that's okay, I'm always up for another read..
as said before, I adore this piece. it's beautiful. -
Each stanza seems self-contained, legitimately a separate unit of the poem. And several of them approach being poems on their own (especially 3 and 5). But at the same time, the work together to create a meaning larger than themselves.
I mentioned punctuation in another of your poems; here the white spaces (or black spaces, as it were) between stanzas provide the function of punctuation and do it very well.
Good imagery. Good control of line length and rhythm.
Good word choice. -
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Thank you Michael. I really like not using punctuation, I think it gives a poem a great style. I will learn the rules so that I can break them correctly.
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i have
no words.
well, i guess i've got a few, somewhere, but they are horribly inadequate.
i am not worthy.
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holy shit.
that left me fucking breathless.
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I don't even think I can breathe.
this was
poetry.
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Wow. That was beautifully sorrowful. I loved it. You let the words flow beautifully. Write on! ~*~SP~*~
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ohhhhh jeez. ♥
oh my godness, you already know how much i adore this. i wish someone would write beautifully sensual poems about meee. ;[ whoever she is, she's lucky.
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that looks like a mustache on the little face.
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Superb
You = win.
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