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Paradise~ Remixed

Breathe... lips pressed to a smile -  shattered, 

over the rise and fall of bare chests,

sang in the hungered weaving of foreign tongues,

mangled vibrations of an inked kiss
calligraph lies in epics of silenced moans ;

tangoed to the moon- beneath footprints
bleeding the rhythms of hips- poetic motions; off tune.

Yet, still I linger hymns of fantasy,
Juli-art tip-toes around broken beats;

dipped in shadows and slow dancing
with a mere figment of my imagination
refusing to accept the two left feet

of a drunken Eden.

Dance halls, etched in only me;

tripping steps over painted sins

of your acid lyrics- remixing my dreams.

But, I always clung to the original,

feeling like the quickened versions
never really blended the essence of the song.

Spirits ricocheting repetitions of inebriated promises
off caverns of fire, liquefied in tears- returned

   empty through fading passions.

In these unrequited raptures;
I'm feeling less like a whisper...

and more like an echo......

Author notes

Written for Paper Pirates Season 1 Round 5
http://allpoetry.com/column/show/2336960

Prompt: Acidic Vocabulary

Restriction:

You CANNOT use the prompt anywhere in your write!
MUST be 25 lines in length EXACTLY!
Lines 5, 15 and 20 CANNOT contain any words with the letter U.
Genre MUST be love.

You can find the picture inspiration on the contest page.

Aside from the previous inspiration I read Bel's(celticmoon) poem "calligraphy" and was instantly inspired. you should certainly check this poem out. It is breathtaking! http://allpoetry.com/poem/3210895
Mine isn't near as gorgeous but hey...

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Celticmoon
    August 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Amy,

    First I must say thank you for such a wonderful acreditation you have left me in your author's comment

    Secondly, how dare you say this is any less beautiful than my piece? Your words linger upon the tongue in a yearning tango of poetic artistry that was birth from your heart and soul and under such restrictions no less. Stand tall and proud girl this is a wonderful piece indeed!


    • Whispered Devotions
      August 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      aww thank you Bel! I loved this challenge very much! I am proud of this poem, don't get me wrong, I just really am blown away by your own. Thank you again!


      Amy


  • Tangled Angle
    July 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome job Amy, so creative and complex.. and it makes sense, and your ending is amazing. Stellar job, best of luck in the challenge.. which reminds me.. I still have yet to write that. lol I forget things so easily.

    • Whispered Devotions
      July 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      aww thank you Ty! Yes, of course I had to use the word whisper and echo in there. two of my favorite words the ending actually was inspired by the nympth in Greek Mythology. I am feeling a little depressed today and while thinking about loving someone so much yet it isn't returned I thought of Echo loving Narcissist so vigorously yet it only became her curse.
      My favorite story in mythology. but yeah, that is where the ending came from.

      *clicks tongue at Tyler* now you better get to writing