Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Parasitic Man

 

Parasitic, plastic man
Crushing me, was that your plan
All along you gave me dreams
Just a lie, so now it seems

Shameless creature, crafty liar
Playing with my heart's desire
There is nothing left for you
After all you've put me through

Cowardly cad, master thief
All you've ever caused is grief
Infecting everything I write
Blinding me with lovesick sight

Two-faced cheater, heart of stone
It's best to live your life alone
With the coldness in your heart
You're bound to tear us all apart

An organism, just so low
Your sunny charm is just for show
Burning, feeding on my skin
But I will never let you win

Opportunist, in every way
Consuming more of me each day
Accessing the depths of my mind
And leeching all that you can find

Darkest demon, vile as scum
I'm throwing you, your last crumb
Worthless failure, complete fake
You give much less than you take

 

 

 

Author notes

The Amazing Race - Round 1 - Roadblock
By: Never Fall in Luv & trista

Prompt: Parasites
Phrases used:

Disease pencil - stanza 3
We thought about what we loved best. Writing. People around us influence us everyday of our lives. us poets have a little something extra - our writing.

The sun ate my skin - stanza 5
We took 'sun' as the person's charm/personality. The way that they are so joyful as if what they are doing is absolute normality - it's starting to aggravate the person.

Tickets to my mind - stanza 6
When people get so close to you, you let them in your life and most times, in your thoughts also. Once they are so close, they have access to what we think and could take full advantage of that.

If you look a little closely, we tried to fit in:
Finger Emotions - stanza 4
We took finger emotions as in physical feelings. For example, a person who is cold-hearted or put it this way - simply doesn't care about anyone or anything. So, there is no mental bonding/emotions.

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13
  • DarkRomantic113
    April 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Funny shit, Never. *thinks of my roommate*


  • Its-a-Show
    January 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i really enjoyed that.


  • Peppermint star xxx
    December 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    honestly dear,you just gave my heart an organized series of verses that made it feel as if it wasn't alone.This was absolutely amazing,especially "Burning, feeding on my skin
    But I will never let you win".That line was Strong and sent chills down my spine.

    If you ever want to collaborate,message me!

    -Athena


    • Never Fall in Love
      December 10, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for the comment!
      ALthough I cannot take credit for those lines you loved the most as they belong to trista..
      Thank you again ♥

      • Peppermint star xxx
        December 10, 2007

        Edit | Reply
        You're more than welcome....Yes,trista is a gifted author,But you are as well! trust me,it wasn't just her lines

        You're welcome
        and remember,if you ever want to collaborate,i'd be honored <3

        -Athena


  • drewmann
    October 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    thank u for taking the time to write


  • Repetitious Chaos
    October 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Your rhythm and rhyme flowed flawlessly
    and every stanza painted the picture more clear.

    .."You give much less than you take"..
    was a perfect way to sum up the piece.
    I applaud the both of you!!

    ~May the ink in your pen flow freely~

    Chaos


  • tawk gold member
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Hood-Wink!

    What a wonderful name for those who have in our lives broke our hearts or hurt us. Excellent write So full of wonderful imagery and emotion

    You have just been Hood-Winked courtesy of the Poetic Bandits


  • Haiku-bless-you silver member
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    HOODWINKED !!!

    This write has good meter and flow with a balanced depth of feeling and emotion. You communicate your message well and leave no space for misunderstanding. This is a powerful write and You incorporated the required phrases very effectively.

    You have been Hoodwinked by the Poetic Bandits today!

    Dennis


  • Ethereal One gold member
    August 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    amazing poem

    What an excellent job you have done expressing the emotions we feel, when one of those creepy men have been in our lives. Parasite is an excellent name for them.
    I can relate to your words, and I am sure many people can. It looks like you did a great job using the prompts given you.

    Good luck in the contest!

    Ethereal One

    • Never Fall in Love
      August 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Yup... but I have to say - the idea for taking parasites as men, was trista's idea. So that credit will have to go to her.

      Thank you so much


  • kooleyes
    July 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Holy F****** moly. This is so intense. I love it. Your choice of words are by far the greatest I've seen.
    Darkest demon, vile as scum
    I'm throwing you, your last crumb
    Worthless failure, complete fake
    I've had all I'll ever take
    WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    This is totally amazing. I would asked where do you get this from but WOW! i'm lost for words. This has left me totally speechless. Great writing keep up the good work. One more WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 - 13 of 13