Trying to remind you my story
Again I float inside the lane of memory
The wind of remembrance brings again all the glory
through which I will make you see that I'm your history.
The scent of the damp leave of the flower you gave once
I try to look towards the past at a glance
The petals of that flower once made you cross the fence.
Distant past and upcoming future
You could never give me the key to rapture
You took me to that endless path from where there's no way to departure.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Good poem, introspective, nostalgic.you are in your home wicket in such poems. Keep playing your strong points dearest Shapla
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marvellous
tremendously beautiful, i really liked it. true emotions vivid in your sad poem. 5 stars
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this is a different rhyme scheme, don't think i've seen it much before so it's hard for me to getthe real feel of it as it seems a little off to me but i'msure my poem will feel off to others too
as for the poem itself, very emotion filled and well written. has an almost hypnotic feel to it. best of luck in the contest. be well and be blessed
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Very well done...emotions put forward really well...
Keep it up!
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Very interesting description here. Good luck.
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While I enjoyed the emotions and sentiments in your poem, I have to say that the meter is not smooth, very rocky. The rhyme scheme is a bit off as well and it does take a bit away from the piece itself. I really enjoyed the 3rd line of thie piece...very beautiful.
Bella
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This is a great poem. I don't like how rocky the rhyme scheme is, but it's well structured and put together. You bring an impact of emotion and did a great job
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Excellent
I liked your poem.This is a sad love poem.Your poem has an excellent rhyme scheme.
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