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~Swallowed~

Palm spreads

   margarine

       m

      e

       l

        t

       i

        n

       g

 

 

With whipping escapes

    of passion -

 

I fell

    and swallowed you whole.

Author notes

falling in love can hurt... but once you fall... it is too late to turn around! Thanks for the inspiration!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • leander Moderators member
    March 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I had a little giggle with your author notes and to quote you: 'falling in love can hurt' and then use a little reference in your poem: 'and I swallowed you whole' -> I could definately understand and imagine vividly how that would hurt :p:d :))

    lol *giggle*

    Anyway, serious now. I like this short little piece you have written. Interesting format, although I would adjust the word 'melting' a little bit so that it goes down gradually.

     

    (I hope this will work-

     

        m

            e

                 l

                   t

                      i

                          n

                               g

     

    or something the like)

     

     

    anyway, thank you for this entry as well :d

     

    Leander


    • luckynsincere
      March 27, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      lol... thank you so much lee for your suggestion. I will take it to heart

      Mel


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    March 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a fascination image this is up there and your poem is equally unique. Very strong and the closing is superb.


  • Celticmoon
    March 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Simply brilliant and in so few words but then from you I would expect no less. Your are a master at seduction and sensuality in few words.
    Thank you for entering,
    best of luck to you!


    Blessings
    Bel


  • poeticweaver gold member
    July 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Well Weaved,

    What an awesome entry, always good poetry reading you, and most of the time, just down right amazing! Much love I send, and keep up the wonderful works! Peace~~~~


    -Timothy aka poeticweaver~

  • piccola silver member
    July 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great. I wondered if she was tying cherries together or if it was piercings...lot of things occured to me. This is beautiful.


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    July 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was definately a fine piece of work. Best ofluck to you.


  • poet2angels gold member
    July 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful!
    You penned such a wonderful take on the prompt!

    Lynda


  • HeavenScent4U
    July 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    i just read your author comments, so true and you're welcome


  • HeavenScent4U
    July 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    very interesting take on the prompt "the whipping escapes of passion, i love it i also love the way you formatted this . well done and good luck. please do not rate my comment or message me until after i judge the contest. be well and be blessed


  • countrybabe gold member
    July 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Nicely Done

1 - 11 of 11