Where banks of bluebells sing a sleepy tune,
As if a river sang a serenade,
For some lost lover dreaming of the moon.
Where mists of paradise fall at your feet
And blanket mossy glades and sunny groves,
The fragrant air, a scent so dry and sweet,
Breathes on the meadows and the sheltered coves.
Where Flora hangs her cloak upon a branch
And song birds drench the glade with honey mead,
The sun beats high until the grasses blanch
And wither like parched cinder or soft reed.
Where melancholy muses in the trees,
Lost songs of summer drifting on the breeze.
A contest entry
- Shakespearean Sonnet Competition: "PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN" WORK ONLY. by Vera Rich.
490 points, ended June 15, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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you've been acknowledged!
what a pretty picture and such a lovely poem to escort it!
thanks for sharing,
claire -
BEAUTIFUL!!!!

I just love this one so much my friend,
Nature and me I like to think share so much and this place which you so beautifully describe is one place I would like to find and stay in .
's
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Congratulations you have been Acknowledged!!!!


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You Have Been Acknowledged
winner for the week of 8/25Congrats to you from us allYou Have Been Acknowledgedawesome Hun you have done a good jobHugs Angel♥

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Lovely sonnet! Though the only lover I've ever known who dreamed of the moon was my husband, because he wants to go there.
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It does take a brave poet to bring in tune and moon - but hey! The words are in our language, just like trees and breeze are. I think one can sometimes get a little obsessive about searching for original rhymes in poetry. That's the reverse side of the trap (I know this because I have just accepted the challenge of writing a sonnet where every line terminates with a word ending in "x"!).
Anyway, when all is said and done, Vera's (and Pope's) warning is well-taken.
I see you also have the antique device of invoking a minor classical deity. That used to be meat and drink to poets educated in a bygone era.
Overall the poem is extremely pleasant and gentle.


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Absolument parfait ...
and a delight to read as well.
I have to agree with Vera about overusing words that have become cliches, but here it works well enough. Poetry would not publish it, but many places would.
Good luck in the contest. -
The atmosphere of this reminds me of Maria Pawlikowska's "Poezija lasow Devonu" (Poetry of the woods of Devon") - one of my favourite poems....
But... and this is by way of being a general warning, may I suggest that it would be advisable in the future to avoid the rhymes "tune/moon"" "Breeze/trees", These rhymes have been overused to the point of triteness (back in the 18th century Pope castigated the "breeze/trees" rhyme). And the fresh insights you reveal in this poem surely deserve rhymes that are equally fresh.
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This is so beautiful, Wonderful write. I love the nature you put in this poem. Favuless detail, it was a pleasure to read your work.


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C'est merveilleux ...
and it appears that your cheering section agrees.
Marvelous poem.

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So very beautiful, you images swept me into the beauty in your lines. I would love to write of nature this way. Best to you dear Bandit.


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very beautiful
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wow!!!
that was awesome!
keep it up.
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what a gorgeous image you have conjured. i want to find this place and go there now. thank you for taking me on a walk through these lovely woodlands. i enjoyed. - NANGALEEMA


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Room without doors
Good morning Beth, I want to thank you for your wonderful comments on the work I have written. I do hope to return the favor for you of your work. I hope the day shines its warmth on you and a blessing for you and yours. Smiles to you -
Those bluebells put a spell upon many a poet and each one I have read is unique and complimentary as yours is as well. I could never understand why they are not called purple bells for they look more purple than blue.


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Extraordinarily Beautiful
If I had a vocabulary like yours I might be able to write some real, beautiful poetry like yours. You are one of my MOST Favorites here. -
Excellent
A very fine write. Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done.
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AH! SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!
I just want to find this place and stay there forever!
's Your descriptions of scenery and animals just brings my dreams alive.


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This is a very good poem ...
but in the last line I'd make a change:
the lost songs of summer drift on the breeze
to make it grammatically correct.
All in all, a very good job. -
Sad and lovely
This is sad and lovely. So sweet and melancholy.
I like it all...but just now the standout lines are
"as if a river sang a serenade"
and in fact all the other sounds (songs, bids, breathing and melancholy muses)
It brought to mind "The song of the wandering Aeongus" by W.B. Yeats ...which is sung beautifully by Christy Moore (The Irish singer) ...as is the song "Nancy Spain" both of which are wonderful songs of lost love in such woods.

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Excellent flow and imagery
Wonderfully penned

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Nicely crafted. I'm sure I rememeber woodland idylls like this, though Scotland seems more into being drenched than blanched these days. Very Keatsian. And that's a compliment.
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Hi
this is a wonderful piece of writing. the soft sweetness that exudes from this. Just wonderful. -
this is beautiful!
I love it!
WOW! You have a way of mesmerizing your readers! You have a way with words!
Keep it up!
Nooni

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Beautiful images with words that match a beautiful picture. I am just starting to work with the sonnet, as I do love them. This one of yours is wonderful.
Thank you for it.


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I am drunk on the exquisite aroma of your bluebells


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Penned in wonderful rhyme, it leds me to think sonnet as the form. The form complements the nature of the poem. The reader has a clear image of the poem for soft walks through the meadow to gather flowers. The ending is stark with songs of summer on the breeze. The technique leaves the mouth full of tingles read aloud.


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Amazing!
wow, beautiful, simply beautiful!!!! You words flows so serenely and fluidly! SOO glad I was able to read this!!!

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Oh my
such a beautiful piece of poetry you have penned here my friend. This is when I smile and have my faith in poetry renewed. Ty so much

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Flawless Sonnet
This is perfection (and it's not entered in a Contest or anything). Just one of your ordinary sonnets, uh?
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this makes me feel a little whimsical, we have not had much of a summer so far this year - we need to petition nature
a good poem.


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i don't know why only one person has commented on this poem. it is exquisite in the details and expression as well as flawless in its flow. it gets top scores from me. i would also like to point out the romantic attitude of this which takes melancholy as something that needs to be cultivated and refined... the self-consciousness of that emotion. thank you for sharing this poem with us. it is the finest sonnet i've read since ages.


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Breathless verses... Bravo.

~Sonja~
























