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Thief Of Heaven

Woke up this morning 3 a.m.
Head spinning with mass inconclusions
Wondering where all my energy went
Feeling empty with no hope of redemption
The world's in a panic
We're doomed beyond hope
Hand out the blindfolds
And pieces of rope
Hang all the martyrs
They can no longer cope
Someone lost control of their functions.

Dragged myself to the mirror
what a waste
The glass was as empty as I felt
The sink was all cluttered with last night's dregs
The t.v was all static and white noise
Pulling on clothing
I walked to the door
The day was there waiting
To settle last nights score
I felt like hiding
And not do this anymore
Where's the justice?

I cried myself to sleep
I don't remember the reason
Filled with recriminations and caffeined to the gills
Maybe I was right out of explanations

I feel like screaming
I work myself down to the bone
I won't see tommorrow
If I'm here all alone
I won't get into heaven
Even if I  beg, borrow or moan
My bed is my final salvation
Enticing me
Just let me be
So just let me sleep. Let me sleep
I'm fast asleep...




Author notes

♠ m y r i a d - d a r k ♠

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 37 of 37

  • WuzGood
    July 16
    Edit | Reply
    NO. good luck


  • jessifer1792
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    I like this idea of a song... I'm not exactly sure how it would go, but I think you could make it work. A good write, nice vocab, and you have a decent flow.


  • Ami
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    loved the very last verse another great write totally adding you as a favorite

    Thank you so much for entering my contest and
    Good luck!

    -♥Amy♥


  • Lazy
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    good

    "my bed is my final salvation
    enticing me
    just let me be"

    funny how no one ever seems able to do that


  • ladyhelenaofsorrows
    February 8

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this, it has a unique flow to it. Imagery was strong from the beginning, but I must say I was a little disappointed with the ending. This piece deserves a little more power in it's conclusion. I am adding you to the finalists list, and thank you for entering!
    -Lena (Lazy's co-judge)


  • FloridaGatorQueen silver member
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is an interesting poem. I could feel your depression over the injustices of this world. There is a lot of it in this world today. I enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest

  • ecrivain01
    October 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    This is rhymed ...

    free verse, and won't work in this contest. Good luck in the others.


  • Brit-Girl
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ack so many contests you've entered this in! but i still like this and think it is a good song thanks for writing and sharing

  • piccola silver member
    July 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    previous trophy winner sorry.


  • XXWolfOfInsanityxX
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Intresting poem you have here ...and I do too like sleeping I really enjoy this piece good luck in the contest =]


  • FlipperSwitch
    April 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I think the ending was your best aspect of this piece. In complete honesty I feel as though the true feeling of emptiness could have been a lot stronger. I'm not sure- it just seems as though it's missing something but then again- I'm not inside your heart writing this poem. Thank you for entering.


  • e m i l y
    February 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow,
    That was an interesting poem.
    And I have to say I do like sleeping too.
    It makes everything much better.
    Hm. That is sure a lot of contests you've
    entered this into. Hahah. Good luck with
    all of them.


  • N e a r
    January 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Definitely sounds like a song. The ending was my favorite. The tone and "tune" was just alluring. You also gave such simple yet intricate imagery. Nicely penned.

    Thanks for entering my contest! Good luck!

    M a r l u x i a


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    January 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you very much for entering the contest. Good luck.

    ♥
    whisper


  • Celticmoon
    January 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting concept you have created while penning this piece. As much as I enjoyed the read of it it still seemed a bit chopping in it's flow for me personally. Thank you for entering. Best of luck to you!


    Blessings
    Bel


  • SomethingPoetic
    January 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    it was good


  • ellipsist
    January 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    you should have read all of the rules before entering this piece into the contest that I am hosting


  • Desire gold member
    December 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Greetings~~

    Oh My~~ I am going through the entries and notice this one has not entered any of my previous contests to qualify for this contest I am Hosting

    This piece is unable to qualify for this contest because it is only for HM's or no trophies on the page at all from my previous contests...Sorry
    I'll have to remove from this contest~~
    again I'm sorry
    Hopefully You can make it for another contest
    coming shortly...

    Magnificent entry though!!

    Many blessings to You in all You do
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Heavenly Angel silver member
    December 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very creative and very well done
    Thank you for sharing this and for being part of the contest!


  • Razor-Blade Romance
    November 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Creates a wonderful image in ones head.
    Nicely done !
    I loved this piece a lot !


  • Never Fall in Love
    October 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hmm .. this was very interesting as it created a rather vivid picture. You listed this as lyrics and I'm sure that's correct since you could almost feel the beats when reading this. You've got this in ton's of contests - normally I'd remove my entry if I didn't win anything.


    Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
    Never ♥


  • Mezclita
    October 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    reminds me of the beginning to that one song that goes... "my tea's gone cold I'm wondering why got out of bed at all, morning rainclouds out my window..." I think it's called "thank you"

    n thank you as well 4 it! GL with overcoming these crazy feelings of hopelessness (which we all do have sometimes) ^^


  • lindaburns gold member
    October 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    10-3-2007 Thank you for entering my contest.
    Unfortunately, since the work won an
    Honorable mention trophy in another contest,
    it does not qualify for this contest. Too bad.
    It’s good work.
    ((( The point of view you present is thought provoking. The sense of hopelessness (besides being blatantly stated) is almost palatable. The emotion presented makes me sad even while your style is pleasing. Good job. )))


  • Turtledove
    October 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Johnny Cash style

    REminds me of Sunday Morning Comin Down by Johnny Cash. He describes the same things after a hangover of the night before too. There the similarity ends. Thanks for entering. Walt.


  • Tattboyspet
    September 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is ALREADY in a contest that hasn't closed ... re-read the rules


  • HeavenScent4U
    September 17, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very powerful and intriguing write. best of luck in the many contests it's entered in lol be well and be blessed*


  • Cari Cullen
    September 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    LOL

    Very cute, this reminda me about David charter in one movie ooo I like it!


  • L.e.l.
    September 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering my contest. Yes, I am finally judging. Thank you for being patient.

    -Blue


  • stavykm gold member
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Great Write

    Thank you my contest ended early. I commented below. A wonderful poem and I hope to see you in other contests. It was my first one and very hard to judge as well as rank. I have a lot still to learn!! I've only been a member for a week! Hopefully you will read some of my poems. Thanks again!!


  • stavykm gold member
    August 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    Great write. Thank you for entering my contest. I feel this is what I was looking for so thank you for entering my contest!!!


  • Riftkin gold member
    August 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is a powerful piece of work
    your words pull the reader down with them


  • Heavens Child
    August 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love how you've ended this piece, very dramatic....a powerful piece for contemplation of what has become of the world. Thank you for the entry in my contest.


  • islekine gold member
    August 9, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for entering!

  • piccola silver member
    August 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this but if you see the rules they state that I can't accept anything that's been entered in any other contest; winner or not. But thank you for the entry. There's plenty of time if you want to enter something else.


  • LadyLeviathan silver member
    August 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very beautiful write! i absolutely loved it! thank you for your entry and for following all the rules!


  • DefinitiveFreak silver member
    July 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is intriguing. Your line that says "done to the bone", I'm guessing that's supposed to be "down to the bone". I was wondering if you had a challenge for me? You didn't write anything in your author comments.

  • Sky Prince Ireland gold member
    July 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Deep in thought I must say. Well written and expressed. LOts of luck to you in the contest.
    Brian

1 - 37 of 37