If I would've told you what I felt
Would you have stayed or left all the same
If I had shown you all that you meant
Would you have listened and surrendered your heart
If I could've loved you more thatn I did
Would you have traded him for me
If you had thought that we'd go on
Would you have told me how much I meant
But If I gave you my heart
Would I shatter your trust
And If you had still betrayed me
Would I let you come back
If I could've changed things at all back then
Would you have wished you hadn't known me
Would you have changed who I ended to be
Or would you have loved me
Like you said couldn't be?
Author notes
Written to one person
A contest entry
- i wrote this for a boy that never loved me.... by autumns rising.
1200 points, ended January 18, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I by N e a r.
2300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 220 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I usually don't prefer repetiton poetry, but this is one of those which takes the cake. [I'll hope it's a chocolate cake with strawberry icing, yum!] Emotional and well-written. I like how you switch your direction of questions in the middle. It keeps the reader's attention. Sounds more like quotes as well. Nicely done.
Thanks for entering your write at A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!
M a r l u x i a
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very sweet and saddening. thank you for the entry
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awe, i love this. its so sweet:-)
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awsome!
i love this poem!! its soo good. I can understand it too
your a good writter
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wow...
this was amazing... like stated earlyer, this piece has so much emotion running through it. this was beautifully written... i think you are very talented keep up the good work, i'm looking forward to reading more of your works...
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This rings with true emotion, as though it's still close to your heart. I see a spelling error in the 5th line, but nothing major.
Thanx for your comment on Inside Soul, by the way. I appreciate it.
Shade -
so beautifully written
very sweet
-suicidal revenge-
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