Night.
Day has faded.
Darkness falls.
Shadows fill spaces
where soft sunlight once lay.
Out of the blackness,
Music.
Notes float on the fragrant breeze.
The shadows are singing
A soft lament
For days gone by.
Author notes
Inspired by my pen name on this website.
Written September 1st, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Night Sky by Tangles.
304 points, ended September 18, 2004, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Not For The Weak II by Immortal Obscurity.
875 points, ended July 3, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What's Your AP Name? by 2lullabyhaven.
550 points, ended August 16, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This rushed my feelings into a sort of calmness; thanks for your entry
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This is beautiful, very calming. The end was especially soft, tender, and relaxing, in a very melancholy sort of way. Well done, and good luck!
Laura
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As Nam has said, the "music" should have its own stanza, a strong poem and the two stanzas act as the mirror to allow the reader reflection upon the two words of the title. Shadow for the first stanza, Song for the second stanza...sort like a subliminal emphasis. Great job!. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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fantastic
this is a fantastic write. short, but powerful, and absolutely beautiful. you are very talented. keep up the amazing work, and best of luck in the contest <33 -
It was a good write. Good luck in the contest
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I feel that 'Music' should have its own stanza, just sitting alone between the other two.
A nice piece that you have written here.
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This is really good. I can't tell if it was a free verse, or if there was a sylabal count in it? Please let me know, and keep up the great work.
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You used the brevity well. It actually seems to emphasize the shadow concept, the wording gives it such depth. Bookmarking this one.
Maddie -
it does remind me of mine a lil... thnx for commenting... i love your poems!!!! so nice!1!!!!
~Shay(i must venture through your others...) -
Beautiful piece, serenity. I love the darkness myself, always have. You did an excellent job here!
Blessings
Gypsy
"If poetry were a candy
a chocolate covered cherry
it would be
the chocolate
the words upon the page
the cherry
the meaning in between"
~ wolfbane meanderings LOL
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Excellent
This is a fantastic poem. I would have to put this into one of the top 10 I have read on this site.
favorite lines:
Out of the blackness,
Music.
But then what you did with the music was most unexpected.
thank you very much.
John -
that was wicked....felt like i was laying in a dark field listinind to slow deep piano music.....
awesome job .....
~SLY~
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