Tears sting my face,
But I try to be strong.
They all fear me,
And that's where they're wrong
In my life they judge and critique,
Though THEY say the lies.
I just try to hide, sit by,
Watch as my emotion dies.
In the midst of my darkness,
Only three words can make me cry.
There they are everytime,
While I'm wrapped in your arms.
I can't let you see, see what your doing,
But those three words are said everytime.
You hold me in your arms and gently whisper,
I love you.
That's when the tears come,
To know someone cares.
It's a lot to know,
And one of my biggest fears.
It makes me hurt to believe,
That at the deepest point someones there,
Someone care, someone actually makes me believe
That they love me.
A contest entry
- I by N e a r.
2300 points, ended February 3, 2008, 220 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I don't know exactly what to make of this. It hurts to hear those words, but aren't those words supposed to relax your heart? Or is this poem too complex that the meaning is much deeper than just that? Nicely written.
Using "those three words" once would have more effect.
"In the midst of my darkness,
Only three words can make me cry.
There they are everytime,
While I'm wrapped in your arms.
I can't let you see, see what your doing,
But those three words are said everytime.
You hold me in your arms and gently whisper,
I love you."
Using them close together as well causes somewhat of a disruption to me as I read it.
Thanks for entering your write at A N Y T H I N G ~ G O E S ! Good luck!
M a r l u x i a
-
I like it ^^
The flow's a bit funky, but i still like it.
Theres a lot of emotion
and it makes meh squee ^^
♥Keara


