Looking over the edge,
you step off.
Falling,
Fast,
wind on your face,
can't keep your eyes open.
The pressure is intense,
the ground closes in,
faster,
faster, and faster,
what have I done?
No, this isn't right,
twisting,
spinning,
falling,
faster,
It wasn't that bad, my life I mean,
Not worth this,
there were plenty of happy times,
why have I done this?
The ground speeds up,
only seconds away,
I change my mind!
I don't want to go!
Please! Someone! Help me.
Please! Someo
In a list
A contest entry
- A contest for the masses by Danneh.
600 points, ended October 4, 2007, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING! by Beating.
1300 points, ended September 13, 2007, 103 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Off Me by bruntbeauty.
700 points, ended October 20, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Have A Rewards Poem? Enter It Here!!!!! Almost Any Subject!!! by opaqueangel.
1225 points, ended December 4, 2007, 21 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
-
Congrats on all the shinys!
I love how this ends...yep a little late to change your mind. I had to read a couple of times as I seemed to read it so fast...lol. Brilliantly penned
-
i like how when i read this i couldnt help but speed through the words as i read that the person was also going faster and about to hit the ground you did a great job in putting the reader in the jumpers place i couldnt help but feel the hopelessness and the wish to stop falling
jessi -
wow I loved how you stopped it in the middle of your plea...this is intense...thank you for your entry
completely mad -
Very interesting concept for a poem. I see what you are saying, how life can become out of control, unless you grab ahold of what you can. I like how you did this. The short lines really did the poem justice.
Nice write
I really see what you are saying within this poem 
after going back and reading it again... hehe.
-
this is totally like a few poems I've written in my past. It's very turbulant. I dig it.. Good job!
~Kristi~
-
Scary write!
This made me feel helpless, very vivid images of falling to one's death. The last word incomplete was very effective. Take care, Julie.
-
makes you think life came be going along and be gone.
-
I really loved tis peice....I especialy loived that way it ended! With the last word cut off like that, its genous! Wow the person ccould ot even finish their fianl thoght, even though it was of regret, befor leaving this life and entering another! Very well written I must say and very creative! Great write and good luck in the contest!
-
I love this. It really does make me wonder what people are thinking about when they're committing suicide and it's too late. Maybe a few of my friends felt like that... I love the ending! You did a wonderful job, thank you for the entry!
-
Amazing what realizations can hit you in the few seconds before you hit the floor. Well expressed.
-
I really like this. Everyone thinking about commiting suicide should read this. I really like the ending. I guess you made it to say that the person doesn't have time to finish that word before hitting the ground. That's so smartly done. Loved it!
-
I dont know where the trophies are on this poem, but there should be some... This was an exhilerating write by far!! Awesome ending! I loved how you took that step, and once it was too late, you changed your mind about your life. My favorite aspect of this poem is that it is written as if in real time. Amazing job!!
-
i wouldnt have thought of it that way... although i know someone who commited suicide... i wouldnt have imagined their thought to be like that, its aninteresting way to put it, i really liked the poem, great job
~Nick
-
This is definately an interesting poem that you have written here... I like how it shows the act of suicide, and then regretting it when it's already too late...
Also nice touch of detail with the last word that's broken off
Well done, keep it up!
Leander -
It seems that when we finally realize that were worth living, it's already too late to save us.
Beautiful job, I loved the expression here and the feelings..
-Danneh<3 Good luck in the contest darling -
interesting piece
thanks for entering
-
Wow
Awesome flow and a most enjoyable read. I love the ending...it tied in and finished it nicely. It felt very real.
-
i loved reading this poem it flowed and had a nice use of words...good luck
~Wolf~ -
I really liked this. You really took us on the journey with you here. Nice. I felt a scared myself. NIce. Thank you for entering. I wish you the best of luck in my contest.
-
well written...scary...
-
this is awsome! I really enjoyed it. Very creative, very imagenative, if I didn't know better I'd say that you steped off the cliff yourself! Great write.
-
this is the coolest write i've read in a while. you mentioned in a comment that you like poems that read fast. i do to & this is a great one! i was sucked further in the more i read. and then the end! absolutely priceless! excellent!!
-
Wow, I really like that poem. Thank you for entering and good luck!
Adding your comment:
1 - 23 of 23
