Your notebook words are now just stains
& the hollow promise ring
It's *glittering* diamond is missing
Who knew love could feel so empty
I tried to |c|a|r|v|e| out im[perfect]ion from my veins
But it's never enough anyway
I picked up the blade, the {razor's dream}
Could always hush my whispered -->screams<--
It's a memory I erase
With the |pills| that have a bitter taste
Cleansing myself with the |mid|night| thunderstorm rain
Let's try to .cry. away the pain
I was simply nothing more
Then your shatt\ered bedroom .w.h.o.r.e.
So just let me [bleed] with this storm
I can't seem to l a u g h anymore
This {poison pen}
Helps me rid myself.of.you
With every notebook stain
I let out a little more pain
Author notes
option 2
"i just want to be pretty"
the words from the bank have the punctuation around them i used exactly 16 i believe x]
see babe i got to enter! hope you like
Cure My Tragedy ♥
A contest entry
- i just want to be pretty by Disturbedmess.
600 points, ended August 10, 2007, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Beautiful Dirty Pretty Poetry by Carpe Noctem.
525 points, ended January 3, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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oh my gosh.
Beautiful as hell.
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Simply Wonderful! ^-^ Defiantly on my top 5 list of best dirty pretty poems I have ever read. =] Very well written, awesome write.
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wicked!!
loved it!!!
I love everything about your
profile and ofcourse this poem!!
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'I was simply nothing more
Then your shatt\ered bedroom .w.h.o.r.e.
So just let me [bleed] with this storm
I can't seem to l a u g h anymore '
This was beautiful, full of pain though
Great write sweetie
♥
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great job
wow you did great. this is very well written. good job
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Good Job
Such a relatable poem.... I think many of us use poetry to make ourselves feel better. Well written! Ilike it! -
I really enjoyed the way you used the appearance of the words to accent the images. We written. Keep it up!
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love it
wow i feel like this sometimes its awesome -
you are very good with dirty pretty. I loved it. I liked this part:
It's a memory I erase
With the |pills| that have a bitter taste
Cleansing myself with the |mid|night| thunderstorm rain
Let's try to .cry. away the pain
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thanx♥
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I can see why you have a gold trophy. This poem fucking rocked.
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x] thanx
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wow i wish i was this good your awesome i llove the poem it reminds me of myself
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nicely done
oh man. Once again, your poems flow so nicely. I just never know how to react. Cause its so good, but its so full of pain. -
i wasdeeply sad when i saw this poem it touched my heart a bitter erminder that love makes us do these things to ourselves a great write
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I Like It A Lot!
Its So Deep.
I Can Relate >.<
<33333
Great Write -
I loved this more than I can describe. Such perfect imagery and it flowed well, too. You are a finalist, no doubt. Thanks very mucg for entering, and best of luck!!!
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W|O|W
This is an amazing write && I can relate oh too well. this is beautifully written and the flow is incredible. this is an all outstanding write... you're an amazing poet, i must read more of your work...
X♥X
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i usually don't like these particular type of poem- but i thought you wrote it very well.
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It's a memory I erase
With the |pills| that have a bitter taste
Cleansing myself with the |mid|night| thunderstorm rain
Let's try to .cry. away the pain
woah.......really deep poem.i felt all the emotion behind it. good ending too,i wrote an ending exactly like that a few months ago.
-Sen sen <3 -
This is a brilliant piece. I love the way you have portrayed (your?) feelings in this piece. Its so easy to relate to and its not too complex. Its a great write. Really, it is.
hugs and luvvs
xxxxx
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i like the beginning the best because it draws you in & many can relate to lost love & that -empty- feeling you get when there's just not any hope anymore to save the relationship..great piece
"Your notebook words are now just stains
& the hollow promise ring
It's *glittering* diamond is missing
Who knew love could feel so empty"
-lys
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this is really good, hun. im sorry that i havent commented on it till now, ive been really busy and a lot of shit has been going on here at home. i cant wait till i move out.anyways... i love the poem, it has such a nice rythem and rhym to it, and i really like the dirty pretty aspect. thanks for entering and good luck
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there's nothing to like.
but theres ALOT to love.
great job.
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this is gorgeous. I absolutely love this poem.
I love the style of it, and I really love the flow.
It's extremely emotional...it made me angry and sad and empty...I felt like the person. It's amazing.
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I'd also like to say I can relate to this in so many ways.
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wow hun this is amazing you have an amazing talent for dirty pretty....I loved this piece it depicted so much pain and it flowed with ease. keep up the amazing work and never give up on your talent
xox
Tash -
"I picked up the blade, the {razor's dream}
Could always hush my whispered -->screams<--
It's a memory I erase
With the |pills| that have a bitter taste" That is my favorite part! You did an excellent job with this poem. I wish I could write like you! So not fair! Good luck in the contest! I hope you win!
& I'm here if you ever need to talk.
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this is good, but im starting to wander if you just wrote it to write it or if you really feel that way.
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i started writing it and felt that way--it reminds me of an ex but i swore to never write about him... maybe thats why i odnt know
but with my writing, i always let out emotional pain its the only proper way i know how too
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