Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

A Terrible Poem, That Really Sucks. -HM

 


Suffocation,
has nothing to do with this.

I'm a liar, and always will be.

I've forgotten all the words
-If I ever knew them.
(Can't be so sure now,
can I?)

These thoughts, so trite,
So mild and mundane.

And on them,

I'm choking,
choking,
choking.




Author notes

Title Says It All.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Griswold silver member
    July 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Bed, terrible, I almost couldn't read it to the end, I had to force myself. But then i'm a pathological liar. Best of luck in the contest Scott


  • as.phy.xi.ate. gold member
    July 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Awesomeness! Loved it!

    ~Katie


  • SpydurPoet gold member
    July 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Change the title.

    I loved it. The first lines were really powerful. It had a lot of emotional undertone. Gives the reader something to ponder on as to what, exactly, these thoughts are. Beautiful piece. Change the damn title. Doesn't give credence to the poem. It was a good one.
    Write on.
    ~*~SP~*~

  • Mercury Rising
    July 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well, this was different all right, but it wasn't that terrible really. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering your self-effacing poem that wasn't that bad at all.

    David

1 - 8 of 8