No more need to run inside.
No more need to hide.
No more need to be sad.
No more need to be bad.
No more need to cry tears.
No more need to wish you here.
No more need to break down.
No more need to mope around.
I dont need you here.
I dont need to be in fear.
I dont need the nightmares.
I dont need the scares.
I dont need the put-downs.
DONT you see I dont need you around!!
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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wow! ts all i cwn say
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WoW
I like it And I lIke All The Rhymes...
i Can Feel ur Pain...
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Nice-Write
I CAN REALTE TO THIS ONE, VERY WELL, AND I THINK WE HAVE ALL PRETTY MUCH BEEN HERE@ONE TIME OR ANOTHER.....LOVED THIS!!! YOU TAKE CARE!!! 'GOD BLESS YOU SWEETIE'.LOVE, SHIRLEY ANN SHAW-RAYTOWN,MO....
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Loved this so much!!! Knowing is half the batttle!!
Love~
Az
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I love it. It describes what I'm feeling right now perfectly.
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Sounds like some kind of "addictive" or abusive relationship of which one cannot seem to escape... heartfelt sad write.
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I know just how much.Almost like you cant breath and you cant eat or sleep.Your day is based on thinking about the past wondering where it all went wrong and how come you gave your heart away so easily RIGHT???
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wow! i understand this poem from the first word to the last. this is totaly amazing a well writen
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Wow
This was just...wow. I can understand this poem. -
great
i really liked this poem
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This poem gets me really pumped up... like a Ram Stein song. I need that after a day in hell, like my home and dealing with the everyday burdons. Thanks for inventing that poem.
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thank you for reading it
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Awesome anger and emotion in this; you're pretty clear at that, so kudos.
On the other hand, the repetition was overkill. You can repeat phrases, sure, but only to a certain extent. If you repeat the same two phrases too many times, it loses the effect you could have had with less repetition. The rhyming stifles the poem, too.
Also, you always forgot the apostrophe in "don't." It's a contraction; therefore, you need an apostrophe.
--Cristina -
very nice--
there's a lot of anger here--
way to put your foot down! stand up for yourself!
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I don't know if thats what this is based on or not, and if it isn't, I hope not to offend you, but when I read this, it made me think of a victim letting go of pain from a rape.
I really like this, it speaks out to me.
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IT is.It is about my father who raped and molested me for most of my life.every time things got hard for me I always went back to him thinking he truly wanted to help me when in all reality he wanted to just keep me under lock and key
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nope, you don't em around! its a bit angry but sometimes you need to let that anger out and it's nice when you can do it with your writing good job.
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Thank you for your comments.
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great write itsallwase good to stand on your own beautiful and i hope to read alot more
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thank you for your comments sorry i did not get back to you yesterday but thank you
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