As I daze into a limbo between
reverie and reality, cross the
corridor of my heartbeat into ether
of discontinuity, of life, I falter.
I slip into a dream..
A masterful sheen of infinite contributors,
finite ideas of touching each one; imprinting
as a mother does her child, weening it away
from my loving touch as I pass; moreover, I leave
it with a stark remembrance my footprint.
A prominent puree of the stars own creation,
mixture from non-terrestrial rock and stone.
This dune of which I trek upwards, is unworldly
as my own ambivalence to heat and dehydration.
now bodily groans, I leave my mark, yet again
two knees a-dragging, hands staggering all within the sand.
Through tyranny and tumult, cacophony cannot stop
me, my disillusion is but I dream for which I'll
find an end, I steadily creep a cadence caught step,
metronome that guides me home, my heartbeat livid against
the sun, straining to find an end and home.
I slip out of that dream.
As I daze into a limbo between
reverie and reality, cross the
corridor of my heartbeat into ether
of discontinuity, of life, I falter.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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powerfully descriptive.....
I'm right in the middle of writing a poem about being lost in the desert. Its unfinished lines have been staring back at me from my poetry journal for a month, screaming at me for release, while I contemplate captured moments in haiku. I can only imagine a feeling of such utter despair like this blazing limbo, slowly dying, as you have so eloquently unveiled in this last stanza.
As I daze into a limbo between
reverie and reality, cross the
corridor of my heartbeat into ether
of discontinuity, of life, I falter.
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Excellent
Sounds like an introspective journey as opposed to a dream. Very pictoresque concrete images.
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again! well done.
it may seem odd but within the many images this poem created for me as I reread it. I kept seeing the man in Hades pushing the boulder uphill.
thanks and good luck -
Thanks all! Its much appreciated.
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Exceptional
This seems to be a series of wasteland deleriums and dreams brought by dryness, and was very intense and tightly woven with arresting imagery throughout. Best of luck in the contest with this very fascinating and fine piece of poetry.
David Michaels
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this is one extremely beautiful piece, good luck in the contest
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Very Well Done !!!
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Wow Seanny, I do believe you have outdone yourself this time. I really liked this. It had amazing images and the rhythm just flowed well. I could see perfectly a struggling person in some strange desert world unlike our own, yet like it also. Great write, I hope you do well in the contest.
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