Let me tell you a story,
Of a time long before,
The lands of our fathers,
Were o’re run with war.
I could tell you of love and happiness
But those were not the fate,
Of the tragic happenings that started
On that very date.
Our scene is simple and true,
A village is gathered,
To say goodbye to a girl,
That many of them knew.
It had been a long year,
Since the first fateful day,
So I’ll go back before the beginning,
And tell this tale for all to hear
The meeting
Chapter 1
The day was bright and sunny, the perfect kind. One of those days where you could spend all day just laying outside in the grass. The light breeze was warm and it wrapped her up. She sat in her white wicker chair, under the bright blue sky, sipping tea. Her hair was long and dark, flowing well past her shoulders, and her eyes matched the sky. There’s not much to say about the rest of her. She was short and had a small frame, her face was rather plain looking really. Except for her eyes, they stood out, big, bright blue. Now I suppose you have a general idea of what this girl looked like. However her appearance isn’t all that important. She could have been the girl in line next to you at the market, or just someone you see on the street. But this is her story, how her fate came to be sealed and the events that led to it.
She had no way of knowing, no idea what the next year of her life held for her. Or that it would be the last year of her life. I wonder now if she had known, what she would have done differently? Would she have appreciated more? Would she have held tighter to the things that matter most? Well as all this has already come to pass, and I have no power to change the past, we will never know those answers. But, I can tell you what I do know. I do know the story of Claira Beth Morveaux. I know because she was my older sister. I am Catherine Grace Morveaux Crawford. I could tell you about her childhood, her happiness, everything. But that is a different story, right now I am going to tell you about the last year. So that’s enough chit-chat, where was I? Oh yes…
She loved to sit back there, just starring off across the country side. Now this day started like any other. First thing in the morning she’d wake, make tea and sit out there for awhile. Then it was time to go to work. She was a clerk at the local grocery store, the early day shift. She worked from 7am till noon. I remember I was just waking up and looking for some breakfast when she came in to get dressed for work. Right then I knew I had to hurry, she always dropped me off at school on her way. Now I guess I could skip ahead a little since the day was average, normal. I only learned about the significance of it when I came home that day and she told me what had happened at work. She was so excited! She finally made it to shift supervisor. She had been trying for that for a longtime. Shift supervisor meant more money and that is what she needed because she was trying to save enough to start summer classes at the local college. She had high dreams and I think she could have been something amazing. Her new position had more responsibility, but she would do good with it. Plus it would keep her more busy. A good thing, I thought. She was never one to go off with friends. Oh she had friends, don’t get me wrong, but she just mostly preferred to sit off daydreaming somewhere. Now though she would be interacting with people more than ever. Over the next few weeks I remember watching her make the schedules, she was such a perfectionist it took her hours to get things just the way she wanted. Also there was Richey, she always tried to make sure they had the same shift, but without being obvious. Who is Richey? Oh well let me tell you …
Richard Lucas Barnett is a boy Claira meet a few years ago. He didn’t come to school with us, but we’d met him in town. She was head over heels for him from that day on, though she was very good at hiding it. Well I mean I would have never even known if she hadn’t told me. We were close and shared all our secrets. He was hers, her biggest secret of all. He was very good looking. I thought that they matched. He had blue eyes and dark hair, he was slightly short but still taller than Claira. His eyes were small and mysterious, and his face was rough, weathered looking even at his young age. He had come to town to stay with his aunt and uncle. They happened to be friends with our parents and we meet up with them around town from time to time. Every time he was around her eyes would light up and she would get all shy and super quiet. I thought it was funny back then and would stand there and laugh at her. Now, to you being shift supervisor might not seem like a big deal. However this is just the first in a series of things to happen. You see, as she was a clerk and Richey just so happened to get a job working in the back of the store unloading the trucks, they had no reason to talk. Now though she had to talk to him. I suppose you could say that might have been the most important of all the events that were to come, depending on how you choose to look at things. One thing is for sure though, this one small, seemingly insignificant thing set everything into motion.
It was all business at first. She would go to the back and hand out the schedules, sometimes they would exchange a small hi or a shy smile. One day though we got off early from school, so I walked to the store to get a ride home with her. I was used to going to the store while she was working. She went in every other Saturday morning, that was the time when Richey had the same shift. Sometimes I would go with her and sit in her little cubicle “office” and watch the people to in and out of the store. Claira always said that you could learn a lot about people from watching them do their shopping. Their likes, dislikes, the order they went around the store, even by the way they pick their fruit. That day though was a Thursday and by luck Richey had come in to take someone’s place. I walked with her at the end of her shift to the back and I got to see them. It was obvious that he liked her. The way he watched her out of the corner if his eye as she handed out the inventory list for the next day. His eyes brightened although they were small and mysterious, they lit and twinkled the minute she came into the room. She didn’t need to talk to him that day, but when he conviently discovered he needed to get a box right next to her. She wasn’t paying attention and as he passed she ran right into him. It was classic, like out of one of those old romantic movies. They just stared at each other for what seemed like and eternity. I teased her the whole way home, I could tell she was a little annoyed with it, but she laughed just the same. I do miss her laugh. I suppose I was the bratty little sister because when we got home I couldn’t wait to tell mom and dad. Mom just smiled, sweet and loving, the way she always did at things that made her think we were growing up to fast. Dad however sort of frowned, jokingly though, he wasn’t fond of the idea of his daughters or “baby girls” as he called us, getting involved with boys. He knew though that it would come one day and Claira was defiantly old enough.
Of a time long before,
The lands of our fathers,
Were o’re run with war.
I could tell you of love and happiness
But those were not the fate,
Of the tragic happenings that started
On that very date.
Our scene is simple and true,
A village is gathered,
To say goodbye to a girl,
That many of them knew.
It had been a long year,
Since the first fateful day,
So I’ll go back before the beginning,
And tell this tale for all to hear
The meeting
Chapter 1
The day was bright and sunny, the perfect kind. One of those days where you could spend all day just laying outside in the grass. The light breeze was warm and it wrapped her up. She sat in her white wicker chair, under the bright blue sky, sipping tea. Her hair was long and dark, flowing well past her shoulders, and her eyes matched the sky. There’s not much to say about the rest of her. She was short and had a small frame, her face was rather plain looking really. Except for her eyes, they stood out, big, bright blue. Now I suppose you have a general idea of what this girl looked like. However her appearance isn’t all that important. She could have been the girl in line next to you at the market, or just someone you see on the street. But this is her story, how her fate came to be sealed and the events that led to it.
She had no way of knowing, no idea what the next year of her life held for her. Or that it would be the last year of her life. I wonder now if she had known, what she would have done differently? Would she have appreciated more? Would she have held tighter to the things that matter most? Well as all this has already come to pass, and I have no power to change the past, we will never know those answers. But, I can tell you what I do know. I do know the story of Claira Beth Morveaux. I know because she was my older sister. I am Catherine Grace Morveaux Crawford. I could tell you about her childhood, her happiness, everything. But that is a different story, right now I am going to tell you about the last year. So that’s enough chit-chat, where was I? Oh yes…
She loved to sit back there, just starring off across the country side. Now this day started like any other. First thing in the morning she’d wake, make tea and sit out there for awhile. Then it was time to go to work. She was a clerk at the local grocery store, the early day shift. She worked from 7am till noon. I remember I was just waking up and looking for some breakfast when she came in to get dressed for work. Right then I knew I had to hurry, she always dropped me off at school on her way. Now I guess I could skip ahead a little since the day was average, normal. I only learned about the significance of it when I came home that day and she told me what had happened at work. She was so excited! She finally made it to shift supervisor. She had been trying for that for a longtime. Shift supervisor meant more money and that is what she needed because she was trying to save enough to start summer classes at the local college. She had high dreams and I think she could have been something amazing. Her new position had more responsibility, but she would do good with it. Plus it would keep her more busy. A good thing, I thought. She was never one to go off with friends. Oh she had friends, don’t get me wrong, but she just mostly preferred to sit off daydreaming somewhere. Now though she would be interacting with people more than ever. Over the next few weeks I remember watching her make the schedules, she was such a perfectionist it took her hours to get things just the way she wanted. Also there was Richey, she always tried to make sure they had the same shift, but without being obvious. Who is Richey? Oh well let me tell you …
Richard Lucas Barnett is a boy Claira meet a few years ago. He didn’t come to school with us, but we’d met him in town. She was head over heels for him from that day on, though she was very good at hiding it. Well I mean I would have never even known if she hadn’t told me. We were close and shared all our secrets. He was hers, her biggest secret of all. He was very good looking. I thought that they matched. He had blue eyes and dark hair, he was slightly short but still taller than Claira. His eyes were small and mysterious, and his face was rough, weathered looking even at his young age. He had come to town to stay with his aunt and uncle. They happened to be friends with our parents and we meet up with them around town from time to time. Every time he was around her eyes would light up and she would get all shy and super quiet. I thought it was funny back then and would stand there and laugh at her. Now, to you being shift supervisor might not seem like a big deal. However this is just the first in a series of things to happen. You see, as she was a clerk and Richey just so happened to get a job working in the back of the store unloading the trucks, they had no reason to talk. Now though she had to talk to him. I suppose you could say that might have been the most important of all the events that were to come, depending on how you choose to look at things. One thing is for sure though, this one small, seemingly insignificant thing set everything into motion.
It was all business at first. She would go to the back and hand out the schedules, sometimes they would exchange a small hi or a shy smile. One day though we got off early from school, so I walked to the store to get a ride home with her. I was used to going to the store while she was working. She went in every other Saturday morning, that was the time when Richey had the same shift. Sometimes I would go with her and sit in her little cubicle “office” and watch the people to in and out of the store. Claira always said that you could learn a lot about people from watching them do their shopping. Their likes, dislikes, the order they went around the store, even by the way they pick their fruit. That day though was a Thursday and by luck Richey had come in to take someone’s place. I walked with her at the end of her shift to the back and I got to see them. It was obvious that he liked her. The way he watched her out of the corner if his eye as she handed out the inventory list for the next day. His eyes brightened although they were small and mysterious, they lit and twinkled the minute she came into the room. She didn’t need to talk to him that day, but when he conviently discovered he needed to get a box right next to her. She wasn’t paying attention and as he passed she ran right into him. It was classic, like out of one of those old romantic movies. They just stared at each other for what seemed like and eternity. I teased her the whole way home, I could tell she was a little annoyed with it, but she laughed just the same. I do miss her laugh. I suppose I was the bratty little sister because when we got home I couldn’t wait to tell mom and dad. Mom just smiled, sweet and loving, the way she always did at things that made her think we were growing up to fast. Dad however sort of frowned, jokingly though, he wasn’t fond of the idea of his daughters or “baby girls” as he called us, getting involved with boys. He knew though that it would come one day and Claira was defiantly old enough.
Author notes
this is a tid bit of a book i am working on and would greatly appreciate feed back on what i have so far please be critical dont worry my feelings wont be hurt i really appreciate the feedback good or bad thanks
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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you have the
BASIS FOR A GREAT STORY!!!!!!

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I think this is really good. I would just go over it and fix the typos like smell should be small and to is too. I like to read more of it.
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you said she had a "smell frame" i think you might want to fix that. also you have form instead of from (in the 3rd paragraph). But the story realy cought my attention I hope to read the rest one day.
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what does "o're sought with war"? sought == seek, right? o're = over. So overseeking war? But then the 'with' doesn't fit.
"those are not the fate" - were not, if its 'long before'. "That many of them knew" -> Who many of them knew?
It had been -> It has been.
Interesting mix of story/poem, thanks! : -
arresting
I really liked the way this piece started of in a poem form - a sort of an introduction - a prelude- your story unfolds well here- am waiting to read what follows - you have sure arrested the readers interest this far

1 - 5 of 5




