Painting a few colours and start to create
my own ivory black funeral
Drawing some lines on this silent paper
draught by a cold grey pencil
Creating my own abandoned home, final rest
Plant it on paper with forest green
Designing my own lonely coffin
Hand-made by brush, in burnt sienna
Colouring in by hand, a few trusted friends
Trendy dressed, in sea green and Indian red
Finally write down my last words
Steady handwrite, self-confident in ghost white
I was already dead before I lived
Author notes
Without a soul you're dead...
Option 2 : You have lost your soul, tell me how you think you would feel, a bit of option 1 because this is my own funeral I write about, and even a few of option 6 in it too, some colours are just beautiful...
If you want to see how it looks in colour:
http://www.yaelf.com/colour.shtml
In a list
A contest entry
- Titles and Lines-Pick One... by Lady Disdain.
500 points, ended August 17, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PNC Group Contest by Partners In Crime.
450 points, ended November 14, 2007, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I was already dead before I lived...
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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A very beautiful write, I can feel what you were feeling while writing this and I think this means that you're a poet, huh?
Wish you good luck in the contest ]
~Massy~
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This really does take you for a rollarcoaster ride . It hits reality and gives you chills for sure. I wish you the best of luck in the contest
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WOW this is excellent the final lines are brill
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A poignantly haunting poem, Jeannette. It gave me goosebumps reading it, feeling the coldness of a life without soul... rather disarming. You did an excellent job of expressing what it might be like to not have a soul.
Good luck in the contest
Dee
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This gave me chills when i read it, the ending " I was already dead before i lived " was really creepy but fantastically written. Loved it. Thankyou for entering.
Souldancer7
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Very nice take on the title. I really enjoy the different reactions people get from each one. You are eceptionally one of my fav. so far! Well done!
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Wow! This looks different from what I've read of yours till now..
The fantasy is beautifully gripping.. theres no way to not feel while reading this in an unconscious way- cause the tools used here are too powerful to ignore..
A very powerful write I'll say.. but for you dear J, I'd leave the last line aside.. outside the frame of this beautiful picture of this less appreciated shade of life.. like that bit was never written... (to say again.. cannot escape feeling)
Tk care Keep painting
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WOW Jeannette, this piece is so haunting, so poignant. I dare say that I felt as if a hand had just clasp my heart as I read these lines here. thank you much for sharing your soul with us love... not many have the don to bring a person to the brink of tears or cause them to feel the pain that so palpable that one could cry out with it. Ingenious
luv
Jamila
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gave me chills....
especially this line
I was already dead before I lived
Great job hun, good luck in this contest
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What a sad thing to write about!
Glad you gonna be here a long long time. Now gonna go check out the link. Good luck in the contest.
Jeannie
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WOW......
This is really deep sis, The image is wonderful goes well with this write. Im so glad u shared this with me, now lemme go see hw it looks in colour.
Ephiphany
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