And when I walked upon the ground,
I made no sound
And when I flew among the clouds,
I screamed out loud
And there I saw forever
through my watering eyes
and didn’t wonder why
there were nightmares in the sky
And when I closed my eyes at night,
I felt fear
And when I lived my dreams again,
I saw through the veneer
And when I left my childhood behind,
I hung my head in shame
and cried
for all that’s trapped inside
Now I see who I am
now I feel what might be
now I know what will be
to a tolerable degree
I will find another way
Author notes
One day I will know myself...
~Corvidae
In a list
A contest entry
- search by CarCrashHumor.
800 points, ended August 1, 2007, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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yes!
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I am going to be honest as I would be when I review poetry- this is beyond artful, beyond amazing, beyond flawless- this is beyond every possitive thing I can say about this piece of power.
When I think about it, all in all, people may not even know themselves. They have that fictional character get the best of that person- when that person- deep inside- dose not even know themselves. I find it to be much more shocking and much more lost-in-thought like than anything you can ever experience. And knowing that message or rationality behind this poem seems to be so hopeful that the reader really has to admit- this is beyond even their head. The main question is, how can someone react to poetry beyond poetry? I find myself so speechless with this powerful write, I can make an list of truthful completes for this write- however I will end it on this note- you are truly gifted with a talent so wonderful. Don't ever think differently, you are amazing. And positively beyond that. Beautiful work. Bravo!
Honor reading and all the best,
Dosed. -
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Dosed, I cannot thank you enough for your comments. This is by far the best, most real critique I have ever received (and not just 'cuz you were positive
)
Thank you for taking the time to read and get the message. I return favors
~Corvidae
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