i walk that lonely road
sad and alone
i think about how
everybody so happy
and carefree
and i think about my life
as a pitch of darkness
nothing in my life has
been good or even sad
i try looking at the brighter things
but how can i when i only see darkness ??
A contest entry
- Atleast Try by Envelope.
725 points, ended August 2, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Break my heart. by black-angelwings-.
300 points, ended November 4, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A CALL TO WRITE FOR ALL WILLING TO ANSWER!!! by Artistic-Soul.
475 points, ended November 9, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Not bad, just an idea, but maybe you could try making your lines in the stanzas longer. Because they're short, when the poem is read, it seems choppy and cut short.
Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest. -
SAD! this was a very sad piece filled with so much sorrow! and i loved the tittle... walking the lonely road! It was just amazing!
I specifically liked the last two lines! i think they are the "highlights" of this poem! very well done and best of luck in the contest!
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Sad
Very well penned, best of luck in the contest. -
Sad
Very well penned, best of luck in the contest. -
you only see darkness because you are afraid to crack the window to your soul and see the light
cool poem but i do have a suggestion for you if you wouldn't take offense. i would consider (considering the background you chose) maybe using a gray font on this, i think it would look much better but that is only my opinion best of luck in the contest. be well and be blessed
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Eh, your depression is more than evident, but really this felt like a pity party rather than an attempt to weave something artful and memorable out of your experiences..sorry
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