Falling Star, how you deceive.
You're not a star as I did believe.
Your beauty, your grace is naught but a lie.
Burning the heavens...mocking the sky.
And fool as I was, you heard my desire;
All of my dreams, consumed by your fire.
Yet with mine eye, I saw you fall,
And witnessed the suffering you placed on us all.
I watched the daylight swallow you whole,
But I still weep...for you broke my soul.
Author notes
This is describes the way I felt watching my parents marriage fall apart.... I was 7.
Seven letter word beginning with "f" "Falling"
In a list
A contest entry
- The beauty of pain. by Jai Guru Deva.
700 points, ended August 6, 2007, 81 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Getting Hurt by irdefk.
950 points, ended November 28, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pick a word - Write a poem in 10 lines or less (F) by The Fun House.
1050 points, ended December 14, 2008, 29 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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How sad that no amount of wishing on a falling star could prevent this heartbreak for you. Congrats on a gracious poem, nonetheless, and for the gold. Happy Holidays.
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This is a wonderfully penned piece. It flows beautifully and is rich with heartfelt sentiments. I'm not a fan of rhyme in general, but this I do adore.
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I don't normally like this kinda poems, but I really liked this. Great job and thanx 4 entering.
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Poet
That falling star my have not granted your wish but your wonderfuul rhyme does speak of your talent. Seems to rhyme here on AP is a lost art. well done.
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very creative and sad
excellent metaphor
love your ryhme
beautifully done
God bless you my friend...
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wow this is deep and i love it,
i can relate and im sure so many others can to,
i mean i love thr rhyme scheme and how it ends with a bam thats just breath taking,
best of luck in the contest,
all my love,
kitty xxx -
Wow, sis! I am sorry I didn't see this sooner, it is a lovely work of art! Grats on your silver trophy!!!
I missed you!
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awwww so sorry
yeah, things our parents endure affect the children
great job with this and ur feelings.
e
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I, too, know the pain a divorce causes. This poem strikes a deep chord, as the rhythm and form are crisp, driving the message almost painfully into my heart. The mostly monsyllabic end rhymes help with this, I think. One small irksome bit: the picture, while lovely in and of itself, seems unecessary. To me it looks too busy for the blunt (simple?) nature of the poem.
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Awww im so sorry. My parents are going through some nasty times right now and are thinking about a divorce. this poem is great, i can feel your pain with each word.
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Graceful. Amazing. This poem brings so many thoughts at once to my mind, and it shows so much emotion. Good luck in this contest, I sincerely hope you win.
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I love this poem! The heartbreak is so evident and it is very stirring. Thank you for your entry, and good luck. :]
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very sweet
Life is like this sometimes, what we see is not what we thought it was at all....mac
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BRAVO
Well done poet. True talent resides within you. continue to harness that potential
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I like the metaphor used here + the way you've presented it too... very nice write!
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and the applause!
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An absolutely beautifully penned piece here. I love the imagery, I love the flow, I love the way it looks on the page. Great jobs. Gratzy on winning the silver trophy! I love it!
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Amazing
(I don't know if I spelled that right
) This was really good. I love the way the ryme worked out. You showed really good emotion too. Congrats on the troffies, I'm sure more will follow for this well thought out write.
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I love the way this piece flows so nicely. Such great imagery. Great job on this!
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This is amazingly deep. Beautiful, full of imagery, but you didn't go overboard. The rhyming isn't too forced. It's short, swee,t to the point, but the emotional depth and clarity of this poem is so blatently obvious. Amazing write.
Good luck and thank your for entering my contest. -
This is powerful! As children we place so much belief to the unknown, and as we grow we realize the realism to life and all that takes place within it. This is a stunning write.
LL
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Wow, so powerful and emotional, and I love the metaphor of the star. I think this was a lovely poem, I especially loved the 2nd stanza, best of luck
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