I cannot put this sweetness down,
or you, though you dare me to.
It is always amiss, all of it.
Her eyes are gray,
no, she is not dead,
though were is more appropriate,
since I cannot lay the sweetness down,
nor disappoint you,
even though you wish it so,
when the mists are thick and wet,
and you hate her so,
knowing I cannot lay the sweetness down,
nor you,
even if you would have it so.
Author notes
Written August 31st, 2003
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though were is more appropriate,
since I cannot lay the sweetness down,
nor disappoint you,
even though you wish it so,
when the mists are thick and wet,
What a simple, delicate and elegant poem all in one. Amazing. ~ Kerri -
very good poem i enjoyed it thanks for sharing it.
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a bit of an oldie, eh? thanks for digging this up from the archives to share... this was a beautiful poem, and I really enjoyed it... it was just sweet
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Love the title for this one, appropriate. The first and last lines are a complete thought and sum up the beauty of the entire piece. Line #6 confused me a bit, "though it were/was appropriate" seems more likely, IMO
. This is a love poem that explains so eloquently precisely why it is so difficult to write love poetry. Your lady seems to be a little demanding though
Avoided all the cliches, Bravo!
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why? two why?
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Very nice poem. Keep up the great writeing. I liked the feeling an expressions used an i think it was great.
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'Two Songs'...
a very sweet delicately writen line of words...
with ofcourse anice little flow as well...
and not to long a read to make one tire of it to soon...
and I thank you for sharing it with us your viewers...as always... -
great read. awesome structure and flow. i really liked:
"and you hate her so,
knowing I cannot lay the sweetness down,
nor you,
even if you would have it so. "
fantastic ending. really grabs and leaves you with something. thank you for sharing and keep up the great writing.
- andre -
I cannot lay the sweetness down
one of my ALL time favorite Lute lines. Did you steal it? I know I did for a poem once.
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this one got me.
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well, I will not lie and say I understand this poem, it was written well that much I can tell.
peace be with & blessed be;
shaggy wolf -
Yes. I know.
Time will solve this - fear not Poet.
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A very nice poem, great job.
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The repetitions--the refrains carry the poem...
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This is so very you and her and her and all that was so sweet it tasted like poison.
A gripping delivery, but what else could we, as you reader expect...
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