there were spiders
in my eyes.
we became astigmatic:
crawling through
8 days a week visions
to spin a web
of opportunity.
you sensed my vibrations,
veering
in your direction
then your silky lines
wooed me
into translucent cycles
(that I couldn't see
at the time);
leaving me with flies
on my tongue.
photography preserved
memories:
I blurred
under the lens
as you shone sunlight
onto me, burning
reality
into distorted perceptions
of time.
weeks passed,
your 8 eyes entrapped me
until I was but
a half-eaten picture.
A contest entry
- Playing In The Fire - 1 by Hadji Murad.
650 points, ended July 24, 2007, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Holy smokes this is good! *loves this immensely*
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awwww, thank you.
*rereads* I haven't read this in a long time, lol.
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Very well done. I love your use of words!
Keep it up.
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I love the spider metaphor, they are so brilliant to work with and once again you've delivered a hard hitting piece. You just get better and better Christina. Excellent job here hun.
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Oh! This is my first time to stumble in your poetry. This is really a well crafted piece. I like the flow and the rhym scheme of this piece. The imagery is perfect and the perception you have given is great. What more can a reader ask for? Brilliant fellow poet.
Thanks for sharing and I'll definitely read more of your work.
>>>VIRGOAN
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Haven't read your poetry in a long time.. Hope everything is okay, and hope the writers block - if that is the case - goes away. This is stellar, the imagery, the metaphors... Love this. Congrats on the silver. I miss you!
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awww, thank you, Tyler. mhm, I haven't written anything in like a month and a half EEK. Writer's block and too many other things on my mind... but hopefully I'll be able to get back into it.
How are you doing?
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I know how that goes. =/
I'm doing great. Love my new high school. I'm not super-popular, but I love the friends I have.. and have a whole lot of people I want to get to know.
I'm enjoying being on Pawprint staff [school newspaper], enjoying yearbook for the most part [it can be stressful].
Soccer is awesome.
And me, mentally, I'm good.
Emotionally, I'm good.
I have a lot of homework, but not so much that I have no life.
Still have some room to breathe.
Yep.
How've you been? -
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awww, yay! you sound like, overall, you're doing pretty awesome. I'm glad
I'm *shrugs*. It depends on the day, lol. School is way different - not used to it yet. I have a crazy amount of homework... I'll see in time if it's manageable, or if it's like 8 hours a day, lol. But it's a good change anyhow. Mentally, I don't know yet how I'm doing, lol. As for emotionally... I'm really all over the place. I've been a magnet for tons of emotions this past bit - makes for mucho craziness. *shrugs* But overall, I'm probably ok? haha.
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I understand. That is how it was like in IB. now that I am out of IB, I still have a lot of homework but not as much, fortunately. Teachers need to cut back with homework.
It doesn't take 50 math problems to get the gist of the concepts. It maybe takes 10. If not 5. For me at least. -
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I'm beginning to think that my social service professor might be a tad insane? We only had class Friday morning and we couldn't find out the book we needed to buy until then. The place to buy the manual was closed all weekend, so I only was able to buy it today... to find out that he assigned us about 40 pages of reading that we need to do and incorporate some things into our 3-4 page journal entry (3 questions to answer) - all due tomorrow at 6pm. EEK.
and like, we all have 4 other courses this semester. *sighs*
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wow... this is very interesting... and its a really good poem. its really profound in a way i cant really explain... but its good non the less.
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Wow a poem that cleaves the mind open, reaching in and entwines within creating such powerfully charged images, your play with words are astounding, woven and enticing excellent poem, enjoyed reading this cleverly written piece of lituary art.
ps: sorry I never was that great at spelling
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two thumbs up
this is just lovely! Pure poetry. A rare breed.
Definitely enjoyed this piece. thanks for sharing.
Creatress
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Where where where to begin with this profundity of this poem. The eight days a week grabbed me so much. But, everything here is beyond words. The concluding image blew me away. I have to agree with Danielle, this is like
Gold worthy. -
Are you fucking kidding me?
ME?
GOLD?!
AFTER THIS?!?!
I don't wanna be in this contest no more.
Your ending is omfg stunning.
and I LOVE the constant metaphor you have.
Especially the bit about flies on the tongue.
*molest*
Maybe I can get some of that originality girl!
GRR.
you
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I predict that Nate will love your metaphors more.
lol
but awwwwwwwwwwww, thank you I had some parts of this stored away in my random tidbits notebook (the ending, for example) and it just... fit together. It's fun when that happens. 
you too
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