Languid temperaments
and apathetic desires
leave the clock rambling
it’s methodic metronome of
tick, tick, ticks
with no desire to see
who’s hands
can cause
more rifts today
My chosen prison:
indecision’s chamber
and time's keeper
diligently works on
unaware of
regardless of
relativity
and the paralyzing effects of
human insufficiencies
kcit, kcit, kcit....
wind back time for me
just awhile
and help me remember
what it was like to care
before expiration dates
leave only the roaches
and twinkies still standing
“Gone in a second”
“back in a flash”
Keeping time
by twinkling eyes
remembering
love
has stopped time
on occassion
Solitary moments
of tangled sheet regrets
Hesitation cost nothing...
and then everything
A contest entry
- Playing In The Fire - 1 by Hadji Murad.
650 points, ended July 24, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
God this is amazing! I am not making any sense hehe...I love all of it but if I have to choose a part I like is this...
My chosen prison:
indecision’s chamber
-
This is really nice. The images are great and the use of simple idioms really develops the poem. I also love the effect of spelling time backwards and the significance it had on the lines that followed it. contest and used it as a theme, brilliant idea. The theme is wonderful, and you really took the contest and used it beautifully in this poem. Everything is measured in seconds, and we move closer to our graves with each inhalation. You captured that idea wonderfully.
My main qualm, if you will, is in the second to last line, cost should be costs.
This is a beautiful poem, written so nicely. Great job and best of luck. -
I like your poem! I related to it. I really enjoy how you ended it. Great!
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