I watched him bend beer cans into torsos
after he had drained them to last drop
and knew it was over
Tossed into a side garbage bin
with no “thank you” for relief,
It was nothing more than a handful
of respite he clenched in his fist
Later, stacked into a box,
guts of it still weeping,
it was pressed into empty replica of me
A pull-tab woman!
In a list
A contest entry
- Let your pen run free! by silverscent.
450 points, ended August 5, 2007, 21 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I enjoyed this. There was a sense of irony; sarcasm amongst the bending and clenching. The formatting and flow was very consistant. There was something different about this poem, and that's what I like in poetry. Thanks for entering.
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ty, friend, for the inspiration and trophy.
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the imagination and creativity that led to this piece is amazing! Humorous, and yet revealing of deeper emotions.
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aw, yes, comes a point where you can laugh about it...ty
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"It was nothing more than a handful
of respite he clenched in his fist"
Sighhh...she resembles you not, my dear Friend...she could not ever possess your fire & grace, my Sister...Good luck in the contest, Sweetie...You know my thoughts on the subject...
Wanda
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that I do, that I do...
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this is deep i thought, till i got to 'pull tab woman', then that kinda threw me for a loop, but i'm prone for those anyway. love this though, funny what alchohol can do to a person and they don't even know it...brilliant write.
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u are so right...one needs spome distance to observe wisely
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Powerful...
The perception and insight of this sad lament hasn't fallen on deaf ears...
"I watched him bend beer cans into torsos
after he had drained them to last drop
and knew it was over"
In reality you're stronger for it, and you now have permanent relief!
Bravo, Poet! ~ Nicholas ~
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Oh, got that right....
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omg this is intense...I saw the pic but the words that followed :
"It was nothing more than a handful
of respite he clenched in his fist
Later, stacked into a box,
guts of it still weeping,
it was pressed into empty replica of me"
powerful!
Lynda
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aw, ty and you are so loyal to my poetry...
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you are worth it
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