Graceful collages of
crispy, feather-like objects
dancing across a slight breeze,
maroon, gold and salmon.
Shivering,
shaking,
churning,
twirling.
As the breeze picks up,
these innocent flakes
rip away from their branches,
starting to fall to the ground.
Dancing,
drifting,
swirling,
descending.
Drifting, escalating lower and lower
to join all others,
fighting their way up
failing yet, in a way, succeeding.
Author notes
Kiwikrazi37
My Thursday Prewrite
A contest entry
- All About Nature Contest by xXxWorthlessxXx.
450 points, ended July 25, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Your Creativity by PassionateWriter09.
300 points, ended August 1, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poets 12&Under by FallingTwilight.
700 points, ended August 8, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Publish your Poetry by LadyLeviathan.
700 points, ended August 15, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ages 13 and Under Only ~ It's All about Nature! by Amunet Wolfbane.
525 points, ended August 15, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Autum!!! by love-laugh-live.
600 points, ended October 3, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Are you up for a challenge? by innocence jaded.xx.
4200 points, ended September 8, 2008, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - HM winners or Metaphorical poems by Chocoholic156.
550 points, ended September 21, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Ahhhh! I loved it! You have such a wonderful flow through the entire thing that I just feel in love with, I forgot I was reading, it was amazing!
My favorite part was:
As the breeze picks up,
these innocent flakes
rip away from their branches,
starting to fall to the ground.
I loved the style as you switched the stanzas rhythm, yet you still kept the rhythm going smoothly.
Your imagery is fantastic, I have tried to capture fall and leaves, but you did it so much better than I ever could. Thank you for entering this poem! Good job and good luck!
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Before I read this, please put your Allpoetry name in your Author's notes !
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OH! I'm sorry lol. Since this was a prewrite, when I entered it I forgot to put my name in I'll do that right away.
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It reminds me of modern art. simple and with good contrast.
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Absolutely gorgeous! You really did a great job on this :D
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Very true. Love your poem!! How'd you do it? Its very clever. Good luck in The contests!!!!!
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This poem was really nice i enjoyed reading it i loved the imagery the discription was great! Absolutely Beautiful!!!!
~Ocean~
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Beautiful written.
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beautifully written.
you shall remain anonymous...its a beautiful piece =] -
Wow, this is just plain beautiful. Your discriptions and imadginary in this piece are wonderful. Beautiful, beautiful.....I loved it.
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I love the beauty of the descriptive language in this ! It really paints a picture and the actual picture above it compliments it so well
Lovely background too! lots of luck in the contests!
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There's wonderful imagery in this piece, you've described it so well. The background is lovely as well. Congrats on the h.m.!Best of luck in my contest and the others,
FallenPoeticAngel
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Good Job
Thank you for the add. This poem was wonderful...Good luck in the contest. -
very nice and good luck in the contest.
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what a wonderufl descriptive write. i love how you wrote this and i love the imagery held within it. well done and best of luck.
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