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War at Home

Missing image

War at Home

Ever since they took him away,
to fight that God forsaken war.
I daydream in our fields all day.
They took the man that I adore.

Gazing across the windswept grass
and waiting for the time to pass.
The memory of times before,
they took the man that I adore.

I know he’ll walk across that field
with battle wounds yet still unhealed.
My broken heart can take no more,
they took the man that I adore.

Ever since they took him away,
they took the man that I adore.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

by: Amera

 

Kyrielle Sonnet
A Kyrielle Sonnet consists of 14 lines (three rhyming quatrain stanzas and a non-rhyming couplet). Just like the traditional Kyrielle poem, the Kyrielle Sonnet also has a repeating line or phrase as a refrain (usually appearing as the last line of each stanza). Each line within the Kyrielle Sonnet consists of only eight syllables. French poetry forms have a tendency to link back to the beginning of the poem, so common practice is to use the first and last line of the first quatrain as the ending couplet. This would also re-enforce the refrain within the poem. Therefore, a good rhyming scheme
for a Kyrielle Sonnet would be: AabB, ccbB, ddbB, AB -or- AbaB, cbcB, dbdB, AB.
Form Source: shadowpoetry.com
Photo named: "Universe" by AloneInDec at Deviantart.com

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • buttheadsloon
    August 8, 2007

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    A beautiful capture of the suffering by those at home ... and sometimes they don't return. http://allpoetry.com/poem/3201494

  • rubixcube1
    July 27, 2007

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    I thought that it was good and very heartfelt u put alot of expression into it and it rhymed very well


  • Followthebutterfly
    July 27, 2007

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    great

    you cant tell at the begining what is about and at the end you find out. It was great like I said and I really like the feeling you put into it.


  • forbidden-dreams
    July 26, 2007

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    Great poem again! Very heart touching and with so much expression. I don't usually like repititon in poems but in yours it really works. Well done.


  • Swintha
    July 26, 2007

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    Wow. Good work on the poem. Quite inspirational i felt. I enjoyed the line "Gazing across the windswept grass". Yet the title did give away some other type of meaning to the poem. I thought it may have been about fighting at home and abuse. I know that when i started reading this poem thats thats not how i felt but it was well done in a a surprising manner.


  • Never Fall in Love
    July 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is nothing short of excellent.
    To be able to write about just about anything without having personally felt it and then confined to a form, well - thats the definition for only one special word.
    Guess what the word is
    it is...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    Amera
    - I bet anyone could have guessed that

    Love ya ♥


  • ellipsist
    July 25, 2007

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    very lovely and saddening

    and touching...

    the way these words have been combined is incredible and heart wrenching...


  • oh yes its me.
    July 25, 2007

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    Wow. This makes me think of how emotional it must be for people whose loved ones were taken for the war. I like this poem -- keep up the good work :


  • HaleyMary
    July 25, 2007

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    Beautiful write. There was very sad emotions in this piece. Made me think of a woman waiting for her boyfriend or husband to come back from a war zone. Good luck in the contest.


  • RedAquarius
    July 25, 2007

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    Excellent touch on the tense emotions those waiting for loved ones to come back deal with daily, be it a woman waiting for her man or a man waiting for his woman. And of course, done in fantastic form. Do you know...I think I have yet to read a work of yours I actually disliked? Share your skill ok??


  • capricornpoet
    July 25, 2007

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    ok this is soo good

    You inspire me , lovely the way you ease your way into forms with such poetic verve ...your cool in my books..real cool..


  • Sacrificial Love
    July 24, 2007
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    Oh my Sis....

    You have penned a beautiful piece of love ... heartache... and pain. So many women today are feeling this very sentiment which you have penned so beautifully....

    Your eye sees so much more than the average....for you are so far above just that...

    xoxo


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    July 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Ever since they took him away,
    they took the man that I adore.

    Humm truly your voice is very deep and reaching even across the ocean..well done..





  • soulfultia gold member
    July 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent penning, just excellent, emotionally reaching and heart tugging Missy! Whew, this was intense and just outstanding, what else can I say...you are a talent girl and my pleasure to read ~Tia


  • no-longer-a-member-
    July 24, 2007

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    A war poem, which touches the heart deeply
    and I love that you used form... it shows that extra bit of effort I've written kyrielles before, but I haven't tried the sonnet form

    thank you for entering, and best of luck


  • StarEyes
    July 24, 2007

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    Miss Form Queen! You are sooooo good at these! I love this one, and wow, does it ever tug at the heart strings!! What a great read this one is!!! Best of luck in this contest!!!

    and much love

    Nyetta


  • Desire gold member
    July 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!!

    Gorgeous piece You have penned and what images You have brought forward along with tears in the eyes

    Powerful emotions in each line~!

    Loved this Sweet One!

    Form Queen

    Thank You for sharing Your Talent!!

    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~

  • Eulb kcalB
    July 24, 2007

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    Amera the feeling here is heart wrenching. The yearning that exist here is almost unbearable .the reader could easily imagine him or herself in this subject's place. You captured the feeling of love, need and lost perfectly well. I applaud you for this love. Thank you for sharing with me and the rest of the world as well...

    love
    Jamila


  • PerVirtuous
    July 24, 2007

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    Very inspirational. The longing is expressed artfully and the form lends itself well to this kind of image. Well done. Keep it up. Fantastic stuff.


  • sunny day
    July 24, 2007

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    Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!!

    Amera, You took hold of my heart with this piece. I have yet to try a Kyrielle Sonnet and I will do that soon. This is absolutely amazing and it says so much. The imagery is hauntingly sad and yet remains beautiful. Your words floated from the page to my heart so soft and smooth with your verbiage so elegant. The rhyme scheme was perfect and I say kudos for you. You are most definitely a master of forms. Thank you for sharing and best wishes in the contest. To conclude I say, bring them home safe and soon. Love you my friend, Joyce


  • JohnnyD gold member
    July 24, 2007

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    God, did ever guy I knew in the service long for a woman to feel such of him when he was in country, this was really well done Amera and actually you could have put your own picture in there, but the one you chose is still perfect. Yeah, this piece affected my memories, and my wishes I presume. Very nice



    Dad


    • Amera gold member
      July 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks Dad, the guys aren't the only ones that suffer.

1 - 22 of 22