Fiery brilliance paint the sky
In ever changing hues
Leaving wonder in our eye
In ever changing views
Orange and blues fill my mind
Luscious rich and glowing
Thankful that I am not blind
Luscious rich and growing
Touch me now with brilliance
Painted in the sky
Filled with such resilience
Painted with a sigh
Paint me with such love
That touches every strand
Change the shade of the dove
And give us colored sand
In a list
A contest entry
- Colour of the Wind by SeaWithYourHeart.
600 points, ended July 31, 2007, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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"Fiery brilliance paint the sky
In ever changing hues
Leaving wonder in our eye
In ever changing views"
opening paragraph is so important and I can honestly say.... I love yours!
rich words and firey at the begginning i know what your describing it helps in ever changing hues. im an artist and i love the way you have taken the termanology for shades here great really rich with volume.
leaving wonder in your eye. I like the way your actually describing the effect it leaves upon the persona seeing it. iit makes the reader picturise the image to get the same wonder but mentally.
I really love the format the constance of line 2 and 4 remianin the same and changing the last word. i like the way you make them rhyme as well hues and views it brings a whole new meaning of many shades and never a fiery sunset is ever the same as the last. love it.
"Orange and blues fill my mind
Luscious rich and glowing
Thankful that I am not blind
Luscious rich and growing"
love the contrast of colours and i see yur inspiration has come from the picture it helps but your description is so good the picture to be honest is not needed.(pretty though)
colours fill your mind like a paint pot and all the colours bleed in to eachother to get a mixture of glowing content. I like the way you saw your glad your not blind. people take eye sight for graunted today and those who are visually impared really envy us. This poem is vital for those who cannot see if someone read it to them they would know what a sunset was like. so this is fantastic.
growing yes. again the bleeding and spreading taking over with natural control.
"Touch me now with brilliance
Painted in the sky
Filled with such resilience
Painted with a sigh"
This is good a new sense again you can link this with being visually impaired touching the sky wow contrasts with braile all rough with the smoothe atmosphere its almost speaks a new language to everyone. paint also links with colours I love the theame you have used here throughout.
filled with such resilliance. again rich lucious words.
with a sigh wow what a twist. why so melancholic here? a sigh of triumph as the greatest work is created to know that it wont last or that the greatest thing in the world you can never capture on canvas? either way is a great way to describe this sadness. well done.
"Paint me with such love
That touches every strand
Change the shade of the dove
And give us colored sand"
endings to me are the most important i have read the words before and I want a punchy ending thats going to make me go wow and you have done that so well done
love has been dragged in to it the famous muse for poets. paint me in such love the persona wants attention and to be admired by someone or the sun set itself. this kind of personification of the sun setting a personal response. very original sounds like your talking to the sun.
touching every strand eiter a painbrush or your heart strings. so you paint with your heart very great image here. was that a deliberate image or just happened.
now in these last two lines your ordering the sun to do something change the shade of the dove and to give you coloured sane. shades and colours cleverly mixed here because they are two very different things and I just love the image of the coloured sand, sand to me means time and the effort to create this on canvas would take time if a whole life time to get right. so the sun in itself a master piece changing the vibe and tone of other beautiful things to either make them look better or worse than itself. excellent.
a fantastic poem this is my favorite so far. well done
good luck
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Oy!
Love this piece You have penned!
Beautifully painted through Your words
Wonderful Journey You take the reader on!!
Felt as if there
Thank You for sharing this!
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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WOW!!! Absolutely beautiful! Gosh the flow and imagery is fantastic. Wonderfully written. Best of luck in the contest.
Jeannie
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What a wonderful poem! SO much imagery and beauty in every line!
Flawless rhyme and flow and lovely presentation!
Lynda
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