Chasing Giants (unfinished)

Looking up I can see a million arid branches, mourning the end of summer as tiny tears of rain fall to the grass below. A group of birds huddle under a big branch to rest their tired wings in its shelter. And the rain falls, harder and harder, but I don’t care. I keep my umbrella fastened by my side and let the cool drops freshen my stinging eyes. The sky looks angry, its dark grey clouds hanging low over the hills. And the rain falls, harder and harder, but I don’t care. My hair sticks to my face and my clothes cling tight to my body. The group of tiny birds take flight, bracing the rain with all their might, and the tree cries harder. Mourning the end of summer. Looking to my left I can see for miles over the town, and further still. If I look hard enough I can see all the way to where the earth meets the sky. The sun beats its way through the sky’s angry clouds and shines its beautiful light onto the million arid branches above me.

One day that I will never forget happened only a few months before my parents went to stay with God. It was my seventh birthday, and the sky was very happy. The sun was smiling and the trees danced merrily to the song of the breeze. I was happy too, like the sky. As the day went on, clouds began to gather over the sun’s smiling face. They weren’t angry clouds, but my parents said we should pack away just in case it rained. No sooner had we packed up my birthday picnic than clouds started to cry. The tears were only small. I climbed onto my fathers back and we all ran to the car. I remember my mother saying something about just having had a perm the day before. I didn’t know what this meant, but she was ever so worried about it.

We ran fast to avoid the escalating rain. My mother was screeching about her perm, holding a carrier bag over her hair. My father and I were screaming in delight as the huge drops of rain splashed on our heads, our bodies shivering with the cold of the breeze against our wet clothes. It was the most exciting weather I had ever seen. The sky was excited too and the rain kept falling. We all jumped into the car, me in the back, my father in the driver’s seat, my mother a passenger. My mother looked at my father and smiled. My parents loved each other so much. I could see it in their faces. We were the happiest family in the whole wide world. Just then my mother started laughing, laughing with relief, laughing with amazement at the dramatic turn of the weather. My father joined in with her laughter, and I did to. The car was filled with the sound of happiness and outside the rain kept falling, harder and harder, but we didn’t care.

When the rain calmed down slightly, we started driving home. Happy Birthday darling, my mother said as she turned and smiled at me. Upon asking my father what a perm was, he had laughed and said that it is a thing women do to make them feel more beautiful. I told my mother she didn’t need to have a perm, and that she was already more beautiful than anything I had ever seen. And when she smiled at me she confirmed this. I told my parents I loved them and turned around on my seat to look out of the back window at the spray from the car. The road looked as though it was covered in a million tiny diamonds, as the sun reflected off the rain. A girl on the pavement stood with a broken umbrella, drenched from the rain. I smiled at her and she smiled back, then she pointed above her. Looking up I could see a giant arch or colours, red, orange, green and blue, painted perfectly across the vast grey sky.

I yelled for my father to pull over and let me out of the car. In a panic he pulled up onto a grass verge and I ran out onto the road. My parents both shot out running after me. I stood in the middle of the soaking wet road, the rain still falling. My mother shouted at me to get back to the car, or at least I think she did. I couldn’t hear a thing over my heart racing and rain falling into my ears. What was this incredible giant I saw? My mother screamed again for me to get back, but my father shushed her, pointing upwards. She looked at where I was looking. I felt her hand resting on my shoulder and we stood there for a few seconds in silence, staring at this masterpiece in the sky. With a little coaxing she led me off the road and my father lifted me on to the boot of the car, where I sat, still staring at the giant arch in front of me. I asked my mother what it was and she told me it was a rainbow. A rainbow is made when the sun and the rain are out at the same time. The sun bounces off the raindrops and reflects a giant arch of colour onto the sky. Nothing can hurt you at the end of a rainbow. I looked up at her and smiled. There, she said, you will find only happiness.

I remember looking at my mother and seeing tears forming in the corners of her eyes. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that she was very worried about me running into the road the way I did. I told her I was sorry and hugged her. I also apologised for making her get out of the car again as her perm was now ruined. She smiled at me and I smiled back. She forgave me, and we got back into the car to drive home.

Later that night, my mother came to my room and sat with me. She read me my favourite story. My mother was the best storyteller I ever knew. She always acted out every character with such perfect brogue. She kissed my forehead and I told her I was sad, because I might never see a rainbow again. She promised me that I would see one again soon.

I would spend every day wishing that it would rain, so that I could see a rainbow again. I would sit by my window on a cloudy day, hoping and praying for the first drop to fall from the sky. If the rain fell, I would run into the garden and stand there, feeling the drops on my face, searching wildly for the rainbow. I never saw one for a long time, but I never stopped searching.

The night my parents went to stay with God, it was raining very hard. I knew I wouldn’t be able to see a rainbow, as it was the night, but I sat by my window listening to the sky crying. I liked the sound of the big drops hitting the window, and the smell of the grass and the concrete when the rain subsided. My parents were out at the theatre and I had a babysitter, who didn’t say much to me. She spent most of the night on the phone to who I believe was her boyfriend. And she would always eat my parent’s food and drink their whiskies and their wines. After the rain, I opened the window and breathed in hard, soaking up the perfume of the air. The gentle scent of a world showered with tears from Heaven.

There was a knock at the door in the middle of the night and I was still awake. I liked to stay awake to hear my parents come home. I liked to hear them laughing and joking, glasses chinking as they had their final glass of sparkling wine before bed time. The babysitter opened the door and I heard a man’s voice, deep and sombre. I couldn’t hear the words he was speaking, but I knew it wasn’t good. I got a pain in my stomach with worry and ran out of my bed and onto the landing. Looking down I could see a tall man in a uniform, holding the babysitter who was crying very hard. The tall man looked up and saw me standing there. The aching in my stomach got worse, something terrible had happened. I saw it in films my parent’s liked to watch, when a tall man in a uniform knocks on the door in the middle of the night, something terrible must have happened. He beckoned me downstairs. I sat down where I was and refused to move. So he walked up the stairs and sat next to me. He explained slowly and gently what had happened. As he spoke each word I cried harder and harder. The car my parents were in had crashed. They were taken to the hospital. But neither of them made it. They were gone. Both of them were gone. I cried harder and harder until I couldn’t breathe. Then I got so upset that I just fell asleep. But I didn’t wake up for a very long time.