ming the thief into a w
r h
o i
f t
s e
n w
a a
r l
t l ……. the wake-up-call
Author notes
a senryu
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.
.
transforming
the thief into a white wall
the wake up call
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.
.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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wonderful
oh what a wonderful haiku using creative layout! i like these kinds of experiments in poetry, and it's lovely to see you do this in the haiku genre! you are a brave poet - goodonya! (do you know the work of the radical maverick hakuist Marlene Mountain? she's wonderful...)
very impressive.
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I am lost on this one
I am not sure how to comment for I dont really understand it
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thank you so much for stopping by :
transforming
the thief into a white wall
the wake up call
we sleep and dream of a thief ...
the alarm-clock rings ... eyes open ... and stare on the white wall of our bedroom ...
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This is creativeness beyond my boundaries! I adore Haiku and you give it unusual & brilliant form and
meaning here. Blue
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Another clever senryu!
Thank you for entering Haiku & senryu.
I think the senryu "Turning the rope into a snake"
visually works better than this one?
Love the daring and boldness to break with
convention. That's so, because I do.
lovelightpeace
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Thank you for entering our workshop/contest, "The Shape of the Haiku." Good luck.
ming the thief into a w
r h
o i
f t
s e
n w
a a
r l
t l ……. the wake-up-call
The concrete form is very good as is the haiku. You have done well with this one. -
Cool lay-out! The thief may have disappeared, but this haiku image is impactful and vivid.
Good luck to you!
Jo
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Oh, this is very slick. A really good shape haiku, and L3 really makes you think. Thank you so much for this creative haiku!
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Very original and very creative!
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Very creative fun too read
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wow how creative.
Amber -
Very thought-provoking and creative, a modern feel. Well done.
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A very creative little concrete haiku, that is very playful and lovely. Best of luck in the contest with this fine poem you have shaped.
D.D.M.
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I would call this
artful Senyru...although I think the double The* should be substituded for another word...lol....I think transforming should work downward first...not upward....the rest of the lines should run across the bottom of the wall.....oh hum..such creative mind working here....lol
Mal
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Good shape
I'm looking for the thief, but all I see is the wall. This is a novelty in haiku form - best of luck!
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the question is : has there ever been a thief - or was it just a dream ?
thanks so much for commenting and clapping, sweet one ...
maa
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