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Chaos

Chaos can be lost opportunities
Never hearing the ocean
But for seashells
And someone's telling of it

Life happens and draws forth
Always forward without regard for time
Whether in eruptions or screaming tides
Tempests on the horizon
For chaos is a matter of predetermined randomness
If you believe in the fates
Or the nearness of it's inevitability
Or the inevitability of randomness
When there are no headwinds
Along an archipelago sitting in a crystalline
Sea of green
Struggling and yearning for the safety
Of a santuary for time's victims

Life progresses only toward closure
The amount of memories to be retained
Dreams to be had
The laughter and tragedy behind it

Chaos in nature is absolution
As war in society becomes the forgone conclusion
For conflicts and haunting regret surfaces
Highlighting the essence and embodiment
Of this futile struggle
Smeared and blurred on it's surfaces
This raging plague of nature
Confusing in it's superficiality
That is as natural as an acid rain
Created badly for a greater good
That for good is only a greater bad

And so life happens weary one
Washing away hopes and sandcastles
Wounding the masts of our watercraft
Until crashing and drowning we do
Or surviving and rescued we are
Rarely finding a safe harbor together

Chaos is fitting in this solar system
Ever dependent on a burning sun
Which will collapse as we all do
Someday
Staggering and dragging forward
Until this hopelessly obvious end
Befalls those of us with it's gravity
Which is our own chaos...

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • sweet fresh love
    July 25, 2008
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    i like the way is was writing very nice sounds i like it


  • SpiceRack
    February 25, 2008

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    This was beautiful. I really enjoyed it! I think you have quite a way with words. My favorite lines were:
    "And so life happens weary one
    Washing away hopes and sandcastles
    Wounding the masts of our watercraft..."


  • rainekvala
    February 24, 2008

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    oddly..it sounds like many realtionships I have had in the past. Thank you for sharing your words, that created colorful storms in my head.

  • Westley
    February 24, 2008

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    This is great. I read it with ease and found that it flows really well and builds a picture in the mind beyond the meaning of the words.

    Verse four is my favourite.

    I would say that this poem is realistic rather than pessimistic as it does not complain but rather state our state-of-affairs. It's straight up, not afraid of reality.

    Some lovely phrasing. This does read well aloud.


  • astralshepherd gold member
    August 14, 2007

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    this is really quite powerful and as i have mentioned before, i love poems that, when read aloud, resonate within the mind and heart - this one does that for me, so many wonderful images and brillant combinations - my favorite lines are " That is as natural as an acid rain Created badly for a greater good That for good is only a greater bad " wonderful!

    sorry i've not been by sooner.

    blessings and best wishes,

    ~r.

  • Francis Vincent
    July 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    very good

    accessed thru the "shameless" tab
    a sort of flying dutchman
    going from one sinking ship to the other
    you touched upon a clever connotation
    that chaos is brought about by randon events
    but you included predetermined
    a interesting concept that thruout space and time
    not happens by chance
    the element of continuity thruout the verse is that all things are born to die, age, wither away only to be reborn


  • twinkling of an eye
    July 24, 2007
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    Well done! The first verse really captured me


  • poorme
    July 24, 2007
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    Very intense write.I truly enjoyed reading this.Makes you think..


  • Nanette
    July 24, 2007

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    Thank you for sharing this poem. You obviously put a lot of thought into this...result, a thought provoking write. Your words do amplify the spiraling effect of the poem. I also enjoyed the polarities that you brought into it...calm & chaos. Well written.


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    July 24, 2007
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    great write, this made me think,

    john


  • neurosine gold member
    July 24, 2007

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    It's amazing how we are so afraid of the very source of our existence. Though in the context of the practical rational human, quite understandable. I guess that's why we struggle with existence. Maybe we should shut up and live. Maybe language and rationality is a step back. Ah, enlightenment...where will you lead me to now? I dunno. Good piece. Thanks.

  • cherchezlafemme
    July 24, 2007

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    An intense poem and superbly written. You outline chaos perfectly! Amidst constant turmoil and drama, there is always something more important and life threatening which seems to intervene.. I agree it seems we are aiming toward some kind of ecological disaster for one. For our own chaos, acknowledging the situation in options available are within our power to change and initiating it. In your poem, you make chaos more manageable to the reader.


  • quantumsurveyor
    July 24, 2007

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    You have brought endless millenia into focus with your verse on the sun, so thoughtful and perceptive. Now, I lead a wonderfully ordered life, not! Thanks so much for the stimulating read.
    Donald

  • Acidanthra
    July 24, 2007

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    Awesome Poem!!

    There are so many forms of chaos, whether it be physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual, and I believe that you pegged all of these in the greatest form of poetry that I have read yet.

    I enjoyed my time reading "Chaos" and I loved the flow and rythm.

    I can see that you dug deep in your mind and soul as you wrote this, and I, personally congratulate you on a great wrie!!


  • michichoeret
    July 24, 2007
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    wow

    great images


  • dendriapyro
    July 24, 2007

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    OMG

    This so fits the way I'm feeling at the moment. And so well written. It flows beautifully. Great wording. It really captures the imagination. Well done.

1 - 16 of 16