Once upon a time that’s never been,
In painted dreams of days forever past,
A hollyhock brought comfort to a wren.
Once upon a time that’s never been.
Nestled in a hidden mountain glen
Two lovers speak a vow that cannot last.
Once upon a time that’s never been—
In painted dreams of days forever past.
Author notes
Option #1
SusanL
A contest entry
- ♥ Form Poetry - Triolet ♥ by riasme.
900 points, ended August 18, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
.
Comments
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Disillusion is so painful, and that is what your refrain speaks about to me. You have a deep metaphor in the first stanza, the second is more clear. A very sad piece, well done. Good luck!
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I am glad that came across for you.
I was trying to show an abstract in the first, that we can find comfort in the unexpected.
The second stanza tells us a bit more of the story.
I was also trying to give it a timelessness.
I am just glad that I did not jumble the whole thing. It is a limited space to try to communicate so much.
Thank you.
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