My mother, the one who gave birth to me.
There could be no other.
You brought me extra love with providing a sister and brother.
The one woman no person in the world could replace;
No one with your unique style and grace.
Between our meetings bellow much distance,
But I recognize your greetings like a dance.
I cherish when we're together,
Not taking for granted I might not get a chance
To take a second glance.
You gave me the extraordinary gift of life,
Nurturing me from a babe.
Then suddenly I'm not yet a mother, but a wife.
Time flies like a speeding jet,
Moments occur I was not ready for yet.
People and events drift away with the hands of time, but you,
Mother, I cannot forget.
Time will inevitably pass, but I keep memories close of us
Picking wildflowers in the spring grass.
Many more memories remain; all kept deep in my secret place.
I can see the sunshine dancing on your face
And there we hide from
Years that have raced.
There is much more than words I want you to know
As I exist in this life on the go.
I want to thank you for all the beauties you have given me
And a chance to grow.
I long for your arms of comfort and wonder if time will ever slow.
I want you near Mama dear, but while we're apart
I'll keep you here in this secret place in my heart.
Author notes
Whits End
A contest entry
- Give me your favorite write by lilblueeyesmine1978.
390 points, ended July 7, 2008, 60 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I really enjoyed this winderful write and I hope to read more from you soon. You truly have wonderous talent.
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Not bad ...
but the lines don't scan right. I had trouble reading this aloud. God knows I am not one of those meter fanatics, but when you rhyme poetry, you need to make the lines scannable. What you have here is rhymed free verse.
Your content is good, and your premise works well enough, but this won't work for this contest.
As to the actual poem in other respects, you've done a good job of expressing your thoughts and feelings here, and Momma would no doubt love the poem. Aunt Mildred and cousin Joe as well. An Editor at Poetry Magazine? Nah. This would be file-thirteened immediately. I suggest you try to fix the line lengths so that this is actually a rhymed and metered poem, and then send it to Country Living or some place similar.
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Very good thought!
Your thoughts are devine1 You mix rhyme verse and lyris thou, not a problem but it tends to throw the flow off a little. I'll send you a couple of poems so you can see the flow and a couple that are free verse. Give me a second to get a couple of good ones.
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I'll be glad to read your examples so I can understand what you mean. Thank you for taking the time to read my stuff. I appreciate your input!
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