Your tender whisper,
the sharpest chisel,
and my resistance purely futile,
for every brush so tantalizing
of calloused fingers on my skin
tore away another piece
of my so stubborn, fearful wish
to keep the armor standing.
Alas, I found, instead of "strength",
my traitorous femininity
betrayed me,
and your arms enclosed me . . .
I feared diaphaneity,
but from your eyes I could not hide,
nor had I the will to run,
as softly, softly . . .
your lips
met mine.
Author notes
The perfect kiss?
Diaphaneity: the quality of being diaphanous; transparency
A contest entry
- Give me six ..... by Tamera.
850 points, ended August 27, 2007, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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wow
nice write... sharpenest chisel... I like it
shows the guy wasn't one of those "c'mon baby" types.
Romance is good.
Cheers, James -
pure and warm - ("learn a new word," uh?)
us cats prefer to rub noses
just to sniff a little bit
humans kiss, one supposes
just to clean each other's lips
Tiki Cat
Buy TIKI'S GOURMET CAT FOOD
"Too Good For Humans"
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Thank you for entering my little contest
I hope you had as much fun entering as I did reading them all
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Very tender and loving imagery, the way it reads make s you want to sigh as you finish. I love the background you put with this as well.
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BEAUTIFUL!
Great intimate and personal imagery. This escapes being cliche completly. I love it! It puts me right there in that moment.
My favorite parts:
"Your tender whisper,
the sharpest chisel,"
and
"Alas, I found, instead of "strength",
my traitorous femininity
betrayed me,"
Very good!
Good luck in the contest.
qt
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Beautiful word and poem. Thanks for entering
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Wow this is really beautiful. I am not exactly sure what diaphaneity is even with the definition. The perfect kiss is memorable.
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This captures a moment wonderfully
I really loved the feel created in the wonderful transfixing way you did
Well done! -
Such a beautiful write of such a special moment in ones life. Excellent imagery and emotions
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A beautiful moment painted here on the screen. I love this. Very beautiful, and I wish you luck in the contest
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how I would love a kiss like this .. wonderful .. well everything. Your screen name suits your style and I must read more of you.
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Wow
The emotions are so deep in this piece. So much great imagery made a really nice read. Great job and best of luck in your writing future.
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Beautiful
The imagery and depth of emotions are strong and easily related to. I like the fact that you have a beginning, middle and an ending. Very nicely constructed word picture.
Dennis
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nice
Word play is so much fun and this one is exquisite! I especially loved the little line "my traitorous femininity betrayed me, "
For some reason that made me chuckle! The use and descrition of those words to describe how you felt about that kiss was awesome. Great job and God bless you, Mark
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I've learnt a new word ... thanks! What a delightful piece this is, full of emotion but exquisitely portrayed within the body of the text. Really well crafted. Love it!
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Quite the interpretation of this word given as a prompt in this contest! Have never seen the word in a poem before so this is a first, and to hold a contest for this word itself is another first. Well done.
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Very Sweet!
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This is such a sweet write I dont think I have read a love poem this good in a while. I love the way it has really no form but it sill sound very poetic. GREAT WRITE!!!! I enjoyed this peice very much.
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A beautiful heartfelt write. Deep expression of emotion. Very good imagery, flow and tone. Vivid descriptives. Excellent word choice. Certainly this is a perfect kiss. Well crafted and a much enjoyed read.
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P.S. ~ i wanna a guy to kiss to kiss me like that! lol
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Wow how passionate~ its almost like your kissing the reader... ~ Amazing job! Great wording! Good luck in the contests... AWESOME JOB! I felt it!
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Whoever got that kiss must have been a lucky person.I see the influence in your poetry and you are putting into health. How do you say that word anyway? But that is a very good poem.
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Beautiful!
A very beautiful piece! very romantic and done tastefully! Great alliteration! just down right wonderfully crafted!
Love & Light
Debbera
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Oh I feel this! Tells a story familiar. Thank you so much for your entry!
Love~
Az
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How fragile we as women are when life turns to matters of the heart. You give such a naked glimpse into this; expressing well that experience of opening, leaping into the arms of the unknown; taking a chance on love once again. Much enjoyed, Blue
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Sweet poem and effective use of the word...
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A lovely poem with a soft lyrical quality like a soft waterfall of words. Best of luck in the contest.
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This is true poetry, beautiful. Your words flow like soft music. Each line compliments the last. Best of luck in the contest. Kelly
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Thank you for your beautiful entry, Josephine
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