Empty promises and lies
Moody ambitions
False dreams advertised
A mere broken communication
Breaking apart the sentences
Bit by bit
Demolishing it
Crushing a love
As the walls of a heart come crumbling down
Like Joshua at Jericho
You've managed to break it
Without even touching it
Your words like horns
Echoing through my heart
Bellowing and resounding
The art of HARM
You've perfected it
Each subliminal image of you
Has become pixelated
Growing further and further apart each day
The Doctor Says its only temporary
The Anger that he feels will die someday
But inside the only thing that can be felt is pain
And within You hope and Pray
That Forgiveness lies in the next breath away
Diagnosis:
Failure To Connect
the SYNAPSES
within the brain
A contest entry
- Metaphorical Dark Love ♥ by parasol.
1650 points, ended July 30, 2007, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - when the forgiving is done by Viyanna Rosemarie 2.
375 points, ended July 25, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write Contest: Love Poetry by Nicole Hanna.
15000 points, ended January 28, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Thanks for entering. The title was a nice intro.
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i really enjoyed this. loved the line:
"And within You hope and Pray
That Forgiveness lies in the next breath away"
just beautiful.
comment back? <3 -
this is so exactly what i was talking about. thank you for entering this into my contest and i wish you well in the judging. viyanna rosemarie
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This was very well written. Sometimes, forgiveness is very much needed but many times, it is not given. This had lovely details and good imagery. I liked the hopefulness it had.
Thank you for entering. Best of luck in my contest.
- Andi
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This is profound
I like the diagnosis part...powerful piece with a strong ending or, hopefully, new beginning with forgiveness.
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wow this is amazing and thats about all i can say--i love it
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very unique
I've never encountered a poem quite like yours... especially with the sort of superb ending that you had. It was so new, and creative! I especially liked the part where you wrote,
"The art of HARM
You've perfected it",
It was very powerful and made me say to myself- wow.
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thank you
well thank you very much! i appriciate your input on this poem. I consider this to be my best one yet. Poetry is something you can't perfect and each day I grow in what I write sriving to make each work better. Often it is inspired by what I feel at a specific point and time. So if my life continues to move so will what I write
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wow this is amazing i love the way you wrote this great job
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thanks =]
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Wow I love the way youve written this,very well done to you!!
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thank you so much i put a lot of pride into this work =]
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Excellent write...
"The art of HARM
You've perfected it..."
excellent summation of a piece filled with angst and anger... I like it! Full marks for a dark write of pandemic proportions... 'd' (david)
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thank you
thank you for the comment on this i just now noticed after a year-- how sad. Ha but thank you so much this is one of my favorites
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