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I'll save you, says the suicide note

Missing image

You're in my heart forever
as she screamed
with blood shot eyes,
running down the corridor
with a gun shaking in her hands
millions of lives dying in the streets,
bullets
Love notes fall from the sky
broken promises
scrawled into her arms
dying for love
living for love
loving for love
Longing for love
You're in my heart forever
as she screamed with blood shot eyes.
She bleeds blood
the color of red,
death and life.
Flowers that smell sweet,
with thorns that will kill,
You're in my heart forever
the glint still devilish and saucy,
I'll jump in front of a bullet for you

I'll die for you

she said with a sick little smile

I'll save you

but first...dear heart

I have to work on myself,

so don't shoot the gun just yet.

Suicide suicide

such a naughty little game,

bloody hand prints

and so much blame.

I love you forever

I won't miss you for always...

I'll take this knife out,

and slit your throat.

You're in my heart forever

she said with the bloodshot eyes,

 

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Kitty.Chainsaw.Paws
    July 7
    Edit | Reply
    woweeeeeeee!!!!!!it has the same impact on me every time i read it...i love ur poems rosie;D

  • xMorphinex
    February 19

    Edit | Reply
    again, wow. I admire your style of writing. I like the blame part and the devil thing
  • razorbladz
    January 18
    Edit | Reply
    pretty cool but it was more haha than sad and emo


  • AshliiAsphyxiation
    October 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    hmm. emo suicide..
    i would use the c word again..
    but. i dont want to be mean when i say cliche.
    oopps. i said it.

    im sorry
    i would normaly give a beaming comment.
    but for poems like this, i find them so cliche, my eyes hurt.

    • xMorphinex
      February 19
      Edit | Reply
      get a life -_-

    • mozarts funeral gold member
      October 20, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Pity that the only crappy comment I got was from a wannabe punk who listens to the same damn music about sadness and little boys who wear tight jeans.

      • AshliiAsphyxiation
        October 20, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        ha the only crappy comment you got was from some one who actualy took time to read it.
        not just comment to boost their number of comments made.

        doll. dont call me a wanna be punk. cause seriously. you dont know me. you dont know what i do with my life.
        "music about sadness & little boys who wear tight jeans"
        Ok, so like. Im incharge of what they wear now?
        BAH
        your pathetic really.
        heard it all before.
        even what you say is cliche.
        isnt that funny.
        x]

  • Do.
    August 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    brilliant with the red blood idea.
    Sorry you feel this way, honestly.

  • Something Obscene
    August 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Suicide suicide

    such a naughty little game,

    bloody hand prints

    and so much blame.

    I love you forever

    I won't miss you for always...

    I'll take this knife out,

    and slit your throat.


    ^
    Those lines are brilliant. Your writing never fails to leave behind shocking imagery. This write is so powerful, so much raw emotion put into it. I love it.
    Keep it up


  • Greson De Winter
    July 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    Now this is inspiring, It makes sense and shows your deeper side. your really dying for love? I like it because throughout the entire poem you keep rythm and you just make me want to sob. Hoping this person gets the love they deserve. It also makes me wonder. I mean this is basis for a very good write may i use this as inspiration?


    • mozarts funeral gold member
      August 1, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      ha ha ha thanks. I'm not really dying for love...that would be pathetic I think. I'll die if I don't live up to the person I can be!!! and of course you can use this for inspiration!

  • midnight-lily
    July 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Really amazing ending..

    Just a few things to point out, if you don't mind me pointing them out.

    "cooridoor" should be "corridor"

  • King Neirad
    July 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    Amazing. I love the fast pace of your poem. I've actually never come across one with quite this style and I have to say that I find myself very intrigued by it. I like it a lot. And the poem itself? Nothing short of amazing. Firstly the title of it is so shocking I had to read the actual poem and once that was completed I found myself...in awe. So deep so profound I loved it. You must be an amazing poet to have produced something like this. Amazing write wonderful read and you are nothing short of a masterful writer. Well done and thanks for sharing.

1 - 14 of 14