the dark eyes of the sentinel,
the last remaining battle
before the coming of the Host.
A squeaking engine within the lull
the long green valley bound by walls
weeded out, culled, felled wheat.
the stray word that fell will stop the song
the wind blown spray that rainbows in the air
the ancient lay of sprung and curled again.
No. Despite the loyality of sums
the rushing weaves of what's to be
we cannot crush the sea.
the crushing weight of blushing light
the boneless slouch of gruesome wight
the touch of drain left wan and worn.
Every battle lost, each defeat a loss.
Grendle rends another helpless thrall
Carried off and left to dry in her dank hall.
A stone upon the sigh sweeping back and forth
the crow upon the swaying wire is staring
at sphinx unblinking eye.
An ancient silent palm, Pharaoh on the throne,
the Oasis in the desert has always been alone.
Author notes
Written August 31st, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
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wow. how did I miss this? I haven't been keeping up with my faves....
awesome write.
~*~
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Very expressive work here, much symbolism to wet this pallet!
Colorful and good use of wording to provoke thought and wonder
Also a great show of writing talent and form.
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I find this to be a rather confusing piece. Don't misunderstand, I like it because it confuses me. I love a challenge. The imagery is sweeping, and seems to span across time and place through different eras, all with a sense of defeat, but also of strong purpose...of something still being strived for even though all is lost. I find that notion confusing. Of course, I may be completely off in my perspective, but this is what i feel from it. From a technical stand point it is beautifully written, the flow and rythem of it works very well. Thank you for sharing it with us and I hope to see more from you.
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This was......... ummm different. Sorry I had to go back and read it a second time in order to make sure of some things. Okay now I understand, the first time around it was kind of confusing (if you know what I mean). Great write, brilliant!!!
Love the one and only never phony,
xX Young Black Woman Xx
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Well, this is better than many poems here on Allpoetry, but it ain't Yeats. Grendel was killed by Beowulf long ago. What is your Grendle?
Your poem is good enough, but we have mutual admiration societies here on Allpoetry; they describe every poem as a masterpiece. Keep writing, but don't take the overpraise too seriously. -
Quality piece you've written here. Chock full of internally sprung things. and stuff. &c and so on. oops.
Another one that is not so pretty and so beautiful.
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Amazing. I loved it.
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I loved the devices you used! Internal rhyme is so powerful when used properly. I like the message of the poem a lot.
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Very good. very good.
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"Every battle lost, each defeat a loss."
I've read this before -- I forgot. Yet: some new perspectives, once again, as with all your work. Some battles do not have any winners. But then -- deserts test the strength of the soul.
I think the journey ends for most before they even set out.
Myra -
good
a good poem, -
Excellent
This is just wonderful! Excellent imagery. If I had to pick a favorite line it would be: --------A squeaking engine within the lull
the long green valley bound by walls
weeded out, culled, felled wheat.----------this was simply wonderful. Nice meter, wonderful word use.
Excellent write.
~Dee
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yup what those two said .. it has build up and crescendo .. and booming song .. its a symphony ..
boneless slouch .. is beautiful. i'm miserable. i think words left me.
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Jules stole my thunder... The 5th is excellent--your symphony...
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A great one, masterly last two lines, and V5 is brillig!
Jules. -
your last line pins me down... makes me think. thinking I'm thunked.... so many great lines poet.
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Biblical; spiritual; summing up
all quests which came to naught.
And yes. We cannot rush the sea ...
Time itself will level all
that did not grow to corn ...
Becoming prophet, poet wrote
his warning within wind and dust
and dreams creating Oasis' rest
found travellers lost within mirage ...
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Stunning visuals..
"the wind blown spray that rainbows in the air"
Lovely story telling..
"Every battle lost, each defeat a loss.
Grendle rends another helpless thrall"
Always leave with a satisfied smile.
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good
A lot of good medieval references. I will need to read it more times to get the whole poem but each individual stanza was enjoyable.
Specially enjoyed:
Every battle lost, each defeat a loss.
Grendle rends another helpless thrall
Carried off and left to dry in her dank hall.
Thanks,
John
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