Gray dawn upon the castle steps,
the lane sheltered by oaks shedding leaves
in the rain teased breeze
the drops falling from the cherub's eyes
in the dry fountain
hands as they should be, fingers entwined
She to him,
cast odes
he to her
I do not love them any more.
the whistles in the distance
toss the racing leaves
strain to hear the dead song,
the sirens own song,
tessara, tessara,
the sleepers pass from the night
towards dawn
after Eros,
the fingers part
after Eros
the songs stop
after Eros
the sickness begins.
Author notes
Pinting: Klymt, "The Kiss"
tessara--a secret word, "Lucan's tanslater, Anthony Wildon comments that this "allusion is to the function of the tessara as a token or 'password' "--Harold Bloom, The Anxiety of Influence ; pg. 67.
In a list
A contest entry
- Aubade, modern please by cvillelisa.
900 points, ended July 27, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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wow well done on your honorable mention definiteley worth it it.
i loved the lines
Gray dawn upon the castle steps,
the lane sheltered by oaks shedding leaves
in the rain teased breeze
the drops falling from the cherub's eyes
in the dry fountain
hands as they should be, fingers entwined
She to him,
cast odes
he to her
I do not love them any more.
keep writing!! -
You deserve that honorable mention
One: "The Kiss" is one of my favorite paintings. I get this warm fuzzy feeling whenever I see it. I love how you tied it in with your poem.
Two: A wonderfully written poem, albeit slightly bitter. As it unfolds, I could easily visualize the scene.
Three: More often than not, Eros passes and the relationship ends up in shambles...but sometimes,whatever is left is a love that flows deeper into understanding, compatibility; something that lasts years, if not for eternity.
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I love Aubades....and this is excellent...
I love the setting of the first stanza, ah, and the ending...the sickness begins...so true...love this
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vERY good
Like it alot
Keep writing
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A VERY GOOD PIECE
great write and wonderful imagery thank you for sharing it and congrats on the HM -
I likes this pome.
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i like it, the scene played out before my eyes. keep writing, you have talent
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Yes ... the singer and the beautiful young man ...
and the love lost. Your poem is perfect. Password and all. You are clairvoyant.
There is nothing like lost love to strengthen the spirit against anguish and against darkness to come. Did you know?
Your poem is contemporary but is unrequited love not as old as life itself? When odes turn to modes ...
Myra
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tessara ...
yup.
Lisa
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I am not so sure that I grasped this poem. I felt a sad not to the end of it though, that, perhaps, his love for her was not so tride and true as hers for him.
I am greatly intrigued. I wish you the best in this contest.
Bella
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Very interesting...
and I love Klimt, related pic on my bedroom wall, it's part of a tryptich (sp)?
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Leaves, leaves, leaves!!!
Finally I get a piece of something you write. I appreciate your effort at dumming down a bit; because we can all connect with the fallen hopes, despair, and loss (racing leaves) of failed love. Most of us can’t write like you … I know I can’t. But, we want to connect with your work because it seems obvious you have a gift. But, I for one, am unable to buy any more “Emperor’s-New-Clothes” art. Thanks again.
PS. If I have the leaves image wrong, I’m going to get drunk. Go ahead … make my day (smile).
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yes
sickness
an extended refractory period
an enthusiasm void
a generalized sense of malaise limp as lettuce
in the morbid melancholy minutes
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I like Klimt a lot
Coursen I allays drop the “m” outta his name too
Uses a lotta gold – I like that.
Here’s a great picture of him with his cat.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Gustav-Klimt-1902.jpg
Any feller likes cats is okay by me.
So if I guess the tessa , does a Groucho Duck drop out of the ceiling with prize money?
Was just wunnerin’
The last stanza is perfect music with Eros refrain. Very pretty poem
Lotsa claps.
Peace.
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secrets and lies, secrets and lies... that thing that makes us want more and more...
I have always loved that painting, it holds many secrets... the essence of love and symbols of thought
beautimous
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