Drawn
by his enigmatic smile
and piercing gaze
that saw her very soul
or
did not see her at all,
hardly daring to breath,
her face bore the question:
Am I here to you?
Subtle shifts tell her...
maybe another day.
It has been nearly a year...
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Excellent, truly captivating
You have crafted in a few words a portrait of emotion your wonderment becomes a steady gaze within your being as the reader shares your moment in time
Brava!! Excellent!!
Wishing you a joyous holiday season and a safe, happy New Year
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This shifts subtly for a second reading.
The verdict seems to be "unseen" - and maybe another day it may change to "present", but waiting is necessary. Congratulations on writing a many layered poem.
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THis is a wisp of beauty in a very few short lines and poses a great question. a moment of observation and the poet shares this with us, wonderful, my kind of writing, loved it
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are other people real to you? a psychiatrist couch question or a case of insensitivity, this is an interesting way to pose the question, from the point of view of the reciever...well done...PK
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A most intriguing short piece of poetry....caught as it were, in betwix states...a snapshot of life...and yet, poignant for that indelible moment of wondering.
Welcome back. Your muse has a new hat.
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I am not sure it is a new hat, maybe just sitting at a different angle...
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I have felt this gaze so many times that it is etched in my memory indelibly. There, a strategic shift is always intact...and I learned to remove myself.
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Wonderfully done. An excellent poem to mark your return.
Favorite bits:
that saw her very soul
or
did not see her at all
John
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Bravo!!! It's been nearly a year and you haven't lost your touch-as this new piece proves. Your ability to draw your reader in, even to the point of making them feel they are authoring these words is one of your many writing talents.
A pleasure!~vj
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This is complex, Susan. Relationships, especially their beginnings, are full of misunderstandings and missteps. Patience is one thing, and letting opportunity slip is another. She is passive, when she needs courage to actually ask. Lots to think about in this vignette.
Welcome back!
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Would you believe me if I said it is not personal? I think it was when I came up with the first line orignally and wrote it down in my notebook. Can't really recall actually.
Thanks for the thoughtfulness.
I realize there are changes I have not seen in the commenting process. I will figure them out soon. -
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Yes, I believe it is not personal - you are a storyteller.
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