You tried to save me
You tried to heal me, but you hurt me more inside
You wanted me to be your ~perfect girl
And always stay by your side
Never caring about the ~nights I spent
I couldn’t sleep because my mind was ~shattered
Walking through this world
I was battered
And beaten till the ~pills just wouldn’t kill
The pain you left
From all the ~promises
You never kept
How hard was it to clean the ~stains
From the tears that settled in
Your pillow
You told me ~time would help it mend
But you lied you knew all along
That the ~glitter roads
Of Hollywood
Would bend and break me
What would you do now
If you knew my addiction
When you found me
Popping someone else’s prescription
You knew
You always knew
That I was addicted to you
I lay down my life and my ~pen
Scouring around for the ~pieces
It never ceases to amaze me
How much you would bend me
You left me ~bleeding from the outside in
No hope left I am ~broken
I died unspoken and so
In love
With you
~Laugh at me if you wish
You know you won’t survive
When you see my crimson smile
Plastered on that ~moon lit sky
In your rearview mirror
Or when you hear my silent ~screams
From somewhere in the back of your head
It will keep you on the edge
Of life
Teetering this way and that
And it will all find its way back
To a place somewhere in junior high
When two love stricken teens
Jumped into life
Way to soon
But even then I knew
That I would always love that part of you
The one that didn’t torment or beat me
Don’t you feel sorry
You threw it all away
You threw it all away into the wall
How hard
Can one man hit
And yet you said tears of love
Stung your eyes
And bloody knuckles
Will bring smiles
I don’t want to be dead
But you gave me no choice
You crushed my only voice
And so I die in your arms
By your hand
Oh yes you were the man
Of my dreams
The man of my dreams
Good bye my love
Heaven waits for me
It waits so patiently
And as the last of my life was through
I whispered
I have always loved you
Author notes
Yeah I am not sure if this goes with your contest but its what i thought of!!!1
DevinCora
A contest entry
- i just want to be pretty by Disturbedmess.
600 points, ended August 10, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - m/o/l/d m.e && {shape me} to p,e,r,f,e,c,t,i,o,n by edit my world..
395 points, ended September 16, 2007, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Ok this is all you get
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Well aloha!
First of all i loved the imagery, and it helped with my ever so vivid imagination. There were a few rocky parts to me. probably like two. Hmm i guess i dont have any negativity about this ^_^, what can i say i loved it! lol It was so sad, and if i wasnt all cried out a few tears would have came out.
And for some reason...i just loved this part the most!
But you gave me no choice
You crushed my only voice
And so I die in your arms
By your hand
Oh yes you were the man
Of my dreams
The man of my dreams
Good bye my love
Heaven waits for me
It waits so patiently
And as the last of my life was through
I whispered
I have always loved you
Thankies for entering girly!
++finalist++
TheSpork Princess
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Fuck...
I almost cried. I don't cry. This, was some imagery. It struck straight to the heart. Lengthy isn't the word, although it was long it was emotion filled and struck somewhere deep inside my heart and made me feel something. Just...Incredible, it's all I have to say.
My favorite part:
"I was battered
And beaten till the ~pills just wouldn’t kill
The pain you left
From all the ~promises
You never kept"
I'm not sure why that's my favorite, but it certainly is. This is going in my bookmarks. Because I want to read this again.
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lov lov lov lov lov
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Gorgeous imagery, made me want to cry. I love this part:
"Don’t you feel sorry
You threw it all away
You threw it all away into the wall
How hard
Can one man hit"
Awesome poem love, looking forward to more! ♥
♥ Tragic~
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thank you so much, that made it so much easier for me. i really appriciate it. best of luck to you in my contest.
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very nice job, i have to agree with violent messiah, it is a dark version of "perfect" loves's outcome. thats what happened to me. i can relate very well to this piece. keep up the good work and good luck. i only ask for one favor, can you mark all the words that you use from the list, for some reason, im having a hard time finding them all, it would just really help me out. thanks
DM
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A dark incarnation of what a "perfect" love can become.
Great job!
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