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Advice Shoving

Enough of your smothering tongue wagging,
I need to come up for breath.
I can’t even think an emotion around you,
Without you interrupting it.
Twisting my words into vicious daggers,
Which you use to upbraid me with,
Using fingers of time to navigate you through your lies.
Painting me into a rage.
Your self-rightous diatribe hollows when ranting in this vein.
You're treacherous when robed in envy.

Author notes

How I feel every time somebody preaches in the form of advice giving........

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • penman gold member
    August 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Very well done. And congratulations for your honorable mention


  • KnightOfTheRose gold member
    August 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    really strong! I know what you mean sometimes people giving advice can be an annoyance...well anyway this piece was really good I enjoyed it! Thank you so much for entering! Excellent work and the best of luck in my contest!!!


    -Steve-


  • Aurielle
    August 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow the depth the whole sound of what sounds of emotions being spurred out what nice really nice anyone can deffinelty compare theirself to the way you feel. I love the seocond line.


  • Anjole-Of-The-Artz
    August 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    My favorite part is "Using fingers of time to navigate you through your lies." which I think is about when people bring up things of the past to use in arguments now? My boyfriend always says that anything from more than three months ago is no longer fair game. lolz. <3333


  • Naridill gold member
    August 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was pretty interesting. I think the lines could've benefited being smaller but more elaborate, however as they are, this is quite intriguing piece.
    Thanks for entering.
    Much luck.


  • BarbedWireButterfly
    July 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    sorry , 10 lines under is just a little too much for my liking. i'm sorry to have to delete your entry. feel free to enter again though


  • Jiyo
    July 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    man, this reminds me of my dad, always turning the littlest conversation into one of lifes many lessons, and then you interupt him and he gets all huffy and calls it talking back, ha, very good representation of that, and good poem


  • Arkbear gold member
    July 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow ~

    If this wasn't a POD, POW, POM or POY contest, I would

    consider it for a Trophy ~

     

    I love the emotions you have brought forth ~

     

    Unfortunately....for this type of contest, we want positive and

    encouraging writes that don't bring Poets done, or upset

    their mood after reading it ~

    BUT...it's going in the finals!!!!

     

    IT WAS INTENSE!!!

     

    I loved it....but it does not fit the genre for the POW ~

     

    I hope you can take that energy and spill some more

     Ink in the next contest I am posting after this one is Judged ~

     

    Smile....you did a Great job....but I wanted a

    poem I can sit & ponder...not one

    that is going to make me cringe and hope

     to heck you're not talking about me...

    ...hehe ~

     

    Bear ~

1 - 8 of 8